You may have heard of the “five love languages,” a concept from a 1992 book by Gary Chapman. Chapman outlines five different ways, known as love languages, that romantic partners express and experience love. 

The idea is that understanding how you give and receive love and your partner’s love language can enhance communication and emotional connection in your relationship. The five love languages are Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, and Giving and Receiving Gifts. 

People love to talk about their love language and the influence it has in their lives — especially when it comes to dating and relationships. Understanding love languages can play a crucial role in relationship dynamics. Most people can define their love language, but on a state-by-state level, which love language is the most popular? 

We analyzed more than 2,500 Google search terms and phrases relating to love languages to determine the most popular love language in each state.

Most Popular Love Languages by State 

Overwhelmingly, the most popular love language is Words of Affirmation, edging out the other four languages in 17 states. Our study found that people in Alabama, Illinois, Nevada, North Carolina, and Texas feel loved through words. 

Words of Affirmation include compliments, praise, verbal encouragement, and frequent “I love you” statements. People with this love language appreciate Words of Affirmation as this type of receiving love makes them feel valued and appreciated. 

Infographic detailing the top love language in each state from DatingNews.com

The second most popular love language among the states is Acts of Service, the love language of choice in 12 states. For people in Arkansas, California, Florida, Georgia, and New Jersey, actions speak louder than words. They want partners who help with chores, run errands, or take on responsibilities.

Acts of Service as a love language help make people’s lives easier or help them feel supported, and they typically want partners who show they’re attentive to their needs. 

The third most popular love language is Physical Touch, which is the main love language in eight states. People with this love language feel affection through physical contact. They like to hold hands, give hugs and kisses, and engage in any other forms of physical closeness and intimacy. The physical connection helps them feel emotionally connected. This love language is the top language in Alaska, Colorado, Michigan, Montana, and Pennsylvania.

The fourth most common love language is Quality Time, and it is the top love language in seven states. People in Kentucky, Maryland, New York, and Wyoming desire the undivided attention of their partners. People with this love language feel loved when they get to spend intentional time with their partner. Date nights, outings, or even nights on the couch together are important to those who crave quality time with their partners.

The final love language, Receiving or Giving Gifts, is the most popular love language in six states, including Hawaii, Iowa, New Mexico, and Wisconsin. People in these states express and receive love through thoughtful presents. It’s not the monetary value of the gifts that people with this love language crave, but rather the thoughtfulness behind the gift. Knowing someone took the time to find something meaningful makes the person feel understood and valued.

Why Discussing Love Languages Matters in Relationships

Not everyone may know their love language, and it isn’t always a topic of conversation on a first date. In fact, 72% of Americans surveyed don’t discuss love languages before beginning a new relationship. 

Infographic explaining the impact of love languages in relationships from DatingNews.com

Despite not talking about love languages before getting into a relationship, 70% say understanding love languages improved their relationships. Perhaps it’s something that should be talked about on first dates?

Most Americans (60%) report knowing their partner’s love language. Once you’ve been in a relationship awhile, you’re likely to learn and know how your partner best gives and receives love. But if your love languages don’t quite mesh, it could be detrimental to the relationship. 

More than 1 in 5 respondents have ended a relationship due to differences in love languages.

But for those who haven’t broken up with someone due to love language differences, 50% say their partners meet their own love language needs always or most of the time… while 53% claim to meet their partner’s needs always or most of the time. 

Is one love language better than the other? Not necessarily, but 59% of Americans believe Quality Time is the most important love language for maintaining a long-term relationship. Following Quality Time are Words of Affirmation (16%), Acts of Service (14%), Physical Touch (10%), and Giving/Receiving Gifts (1%). 

The Importance of Knowing & Embracing Your Love Language

Does understanding love languages really matter in relationships? Most Americans (67%) do buy into the psychology behind love languages, and 70% say this concept of love languages and the languages themselves are important to them.

“Love languages give us a simple way to express how we want to be loved and how we show love to others,” said Amber Brooks, Editor-in-Chief at DatingNews.com. “It’s also important to realize that couples in healthy relationships must be multilingual in the sense that they reinforce their love by using all the languages frequently and thoughtfully.”

 Infographic detailing how many Americans know their love language and if these languages are important from DatingNews.com

Nearly 3 in 4 surveyed said they know what their love language is, either from taking an online quiz or just through relationship experience. Many (69%) also agree that they have more than one love language, meaning you’re not locked into only one way of giving or receiving love. 

However, of those who said they knew their love languages, the main languages were Quality Time (31%), Physical Touch (23%), Words of Affirmation (20%), Acts of Service (20%), and Giving/Receiving Gifts (6%).

Understanding and embracing love languages isn’t just a relationship trend — it’s a practical way to connect on a deeper level. Next time you’re on a date or connecting with someone new, maybe it’s worth asking: What’s your love language?

Methodology

In October 2024, we analyzed 2,518 Google search terms related to love languages to complete this study. We looked at search volume per capita averages over the past 24 months for state data.

In October 2024, we also surveyed 1,000 Americans to understand their opinions on love languages and how important this concept is to them in relationships. The age range of respondents was 18 to 77, with an average age of 40. Respondents identified as 49% female, 49% male, and 2% non-binary.

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