The Scoop: Many couples struggle with infidelity in their relationships. Whether partners have cheated or been cheated on, they can find support and advice from others through the Infidelity Support Group. The social networking site allows users to post their stories anonymously and receive responses from others. Users can also find resources on infidelity, and ways to connect with professionals, ranging from therapists to private investigators, who can offer even more peace of mind.
Infidelity is an issue in many relationships and marriages. Unfortunately, about 25% of men and 15% of women admit to having cheated on their spouse at some point.
But even those who cheat don’t believe infidelity is ethical. A solid 81% of respondents in one survey said cheating was wrong in every instance. That number remained high even among cheaters, and 64% of those who “acknowledged their own infidelity also believed that cheating was always wrong, no matter the circumstances involved.”
Though infidelity is common, it is also rarely discussed in relationships. That unwillingness to discuss cheating led graphic designer Dean Severson to create Infidelity Support Group, a website where those affected by cheating can meet each other, find resources, and connect with professional help. Dean calls cheating “the last taboo” in Western society.
“Certain members come in more than others — it’s their place to heal, and some take longer to heal than others. They help other people, and engage in every post. Some make it their mission and use this platform to help other people,” Dean said.
The reasons people cheat differ for each individual, but frequently cited explanations include emotional neglect from a partner, sexual incompatibility, boredom, or even low self-esteem.
Those problems can be solved in other ways, and the Infidelity Support Group provides a safe space for those affected by cheating. The platform has over 13,000 users, so whether you cheated or have been cheated on, you won’t be alone.
The ISG site can connect members with resources and professional help to guide them through this difficult time in their relationship.
A Nonjudgmental Forum For Those Impacted By Cheating
Dean, who is also a graphic designer, said he doesn’t have personal experience with cheating in a relationship. Instead, he was inspired to create the website 10 years ago after a friend confessed his experience.
“I had a friend who cheated on his partner, and she cheated on him. It was a real mess, and he was a mess himself. He said he wished there was a place where he could go and talk about these issues,” Dean told us. “He came from a conservative background, and this subject was hard to talk about with his family and friends.”
To help his friend and others like him, Dean devised a social networking site where people could share their stories anonymously and receive responses from strangers. The idea was to create a forum that could serve as an internet “bar” — where individuals could communicate with complete strangers and “spill their guts,” as Dean put it.
There was clearly a need for the website. A decade after its inception, Infidelity Support Group has 13,000 members and more join each day.
“You can sign up and read the stories. It’s incredible what people are going through. It’s heartbreaking and excruciating, and they can’t share with their family,” Dean told us.
In addition to the social network, the platform can help users with resources, including articles, books, and videos on the subject.
“Anyone can access the articles. They are completely free. All they need is an email address, and I don’t sell their information,” said Dean. “They’re going through enough. It’s a difficult process, and no one wants to get spammed or taken advantage of when they’re already being taken advantage of in their personal lives.”
People Can Find Professional Help
While infidelity may be common, it doesn’t have to signal the end of a relationship. Still, 37% of divorces were initiated because one of the partners cheated.
Married couples who stay together after one spouse cheats are almost always willing to work through the issues that caused the infidelity in the first place. Couples who work through cheating — and the factors that cause it — often end up stronger in the end.
Cheaters need to have sincere remorse for what they have done if they want a partner to give them a second chance. They also need to be honest about why the cheating happened and how they can move forward in their lives together.
But sometimes, couples need additional support to work through their issues. And that’s where Infidelity Support Group can help.
Infidelity Support Group provides resources that allows individuals to find therapists, life coaches, and other professionals who can help them pick up the pieces in their personal lives.
“If they are trying to mend the situation, they need someone to talk to and often don’t feel like they can talk to the people they know,” Dean said. “I know from talking to other therapists that it’s not always best to share with family and friends if you’re going to stay with the partner.”
Some couples cannot repair their relationships after one or both of them have cheated. That’s why Infidelity Support Group also offers connections to divorce lawyers, mediation experts, and even private investigators.
Infidelity Support Group Sheds Light on a Taboo Topic
Dean said he is proud that he has created a social networking site to help people who are struggling with infidelity. Dean uses the signup process to weed out people who may not have the best intentions.
“You have to respond to an email to log in. I also monitor the site — if I get information that someone is not honest or sincere, I’ll boot them,” Dean said.
For better or worse, Infidelity Support Group saw a boost in its user numbers during the COVID-19 pandemic. Individuals who thought their partner was cheating before the pandemic now had more time to find incriminating evidence.
“I think during COVID-19, partners got closer together, or they got torn apart. It’s probably not as easy to sneak out and get away, but that was happening,” Dean said.
Dean advises those who struggle to stay faithful to use the Infidelity Support Group to find support from others who have gone through the same thing. About 66% of Infidelity Support Group users were cheated on, which means both cheaters and their partners use the site’s forums.
“There is a lot of healing in writing your story, and this platform lets you write as much as you like and get feedback and advice,” Dean said. “It’s a good, positive website. The actions may be scandalous, but the website isn’t. It’s pure and honest.”