The Scoop: Single senior women have so much to enjoy in the dating scene – they just need to know how to find it. Deb Dutcher is the Dating Expert and voice behind Finding Mr. Adorable, a course designed to help single women in their 50s and beyond find online dating success. Finding Mr. Adorable covers everything singles need to know as they step into online dating for the first time, from practical safety concerns to tips for digital flirtation. Deb talked to us about her journey to creating the course, along with tips and advice for senior single women who are exploring the world of online dating.
Single seniors make up a big part of the dating world — big enough for senior-specific dating sites like SilverSingles and SeniorMatch to have millions of active profiles. They also bring unique backgrounds, perspectives, and life experiences to the dating scene. Many senior daters have previously been married and have plenty of relationship experience to lean on in their new dating journey.
Singles in their 60s and beyond also tend to be secure daters who want to enjoy the process. Senior daters are often comfortable in their position in life, and ready to find an authentic relationship with a person who will enhance their day-to-day experiences.
Older singles offer a blueprint for younger daters. They often know exactly who they are and what they’re looking for and have a lower tolerance for poor dating etiquette or behaviors. Single seniors have so much going for them in the dating scene, but many of them need some extra guidance in one specific area of modern romance — online dating.
There are countless online opportunities for romance and connection, but seniors need knowledge and resources to stay safe and get great results while online dating. Deb Dutcher is a senior Dating Expert and the creator of Finding Mr. Adorable, an online dating course made just for senior single women.
Deb talked to us about the dating experience for senior women and what they need to know to fully embrace online dating. Deb’s course helps women looking for companionship learn the ins and outs of dating apps and sites, from the crucial safety elements to practical conversation-starting tips.
Finding Mr. Adorable helps senior women find success with dating online. Deb helps her clients become savvy, prepped, ready, and aware of every element of online dating. “At our age, many of our clients don’t want to get married again, we just want someone to have fun with and hang out with,” Deb said. “We’re looking for someone who will let us stay in our space and experience this lovely blending.”
Deb Dutcher’s Journey to Mr. Adorable
Deb’s story looks similar to that of many of her clients. She was 51 and entered online dating for the first time since her divorce. She had been married to her first husband for nearly 30 years, and when she found herself single again, she realized a lot had changed about the dating scene since the last time she was in it.
Online dating, a landscape that was markedly unfamiliar to Deb, had become the go-to place for finding new relationships. And her dating approach was completely different from what it had been the last time she dated at age 19. She had experienced the highs and lows of a long-term relationship and was looking for markedly different things from a partner than she had previously.
Deb had to teach herself the nuances of online dating, and after a few relationships and false starts, she found her second husband. This marriage lasted fourteen years, but it was built on mostly passion and few commonalities, and she parted ways at age 68.
Now the dating scene was really different! Not only was she much older, there was a global pandemic going on. She had to rework her whole approach to online dating.
Once she did, she found the kind of person and relationship she had been looking for. Now that she had her Mr. Adorable, she decided to compile resources based on the approach she used to find love. She named it the “Finding Mr. Adorable System” and made it available to her clients.
“I wanted to create resources for women like me,” Deb said. “People leaving long-term relationships, who haven’t dated in decades, need specific guidance. At first, I hadn’t even thought about making a business, but people kept on reaching out and asking me questions, and I realized I could make a coaching practice that would really help people.”
Deb heard the needs of single women in situations similar to hers and decided to create resources especially for them. Deb’s courses help women with the practical aspects of online dating, as well as the emotional and personal ones. She helps her clients explore what they’re seeking from a dating experience and what kind of companionship they’re looking for.
Deb also established Finding Mr. Adorable to show senior single women that dating should be a fun and exciting experience, not an upsetting or depressing one. And a positive mindset goes a long way in making sure the experience stays enjoyable.
“It’s about tapping into your Ms. Adorable,” Deb said. “I teach my girls to become adorable butterflies and go out there and find their Mr. Adorable. And there’s not just one Mr. Adorable. There’s so many amazing experiences to be had.”
Finding Mr. Adorable Forms Savvy & Ready Singles
Deb offers two versions of the Finding Mr. Adorable course. “It took me a long time to develop this course, and I’m really proud of it,” she said. “There are two versions. One is self-guided, which is great for women who want to slowly reenter dating and go at their own pace. The other is guided by me and is an eight-week program.”
Singles can choose the version of Finding Mr. Adorable that’s best for them. “The self-paced version is for women who have dabbled in online dating but haven’t been super successful or are getting frustrated,” Deb explained. “It’s made for people who know how online dating works and aren’t afraid of it.”
The Done-With-Deb version of Finding Mr. Adorable is best for singles who want hands-on help. Deb said the course was created for single senior women who may not be sure where to start and want assistance every step of the way while dating online. The course is designed to begin with the basics of online dating and build from there.
“I spend 90 minutes each week with the group over Zoom, and we get into everything. Then, each student receives one free hour of editing for their profiles and photos, and discussion of which site could work for them, specifically,” Deb said.
Finding Mr. Adorable gives singles the tools they need to be Savvy, Prepped, Ready, and Aware. The course teaches them how to be savvy to the mechanisms of online dating, prepped for how to stay safe and have fun, ready to meet potential Mr. Adorables, and aware of the common pitfalls of online dating.
Deb said many of her clients are worried about scams, and for good reason. “A big issue right now is scammers,” she told us. “Some sites do verification, and some don’t. I teach women how to use social media searches and background check sites to make sure they’ve got a last name, street address, city of residence, and all that important information.”
Finding Mr. Adorable puts all the important information for single senior women in one place. There is so much to consider when stepping into online dating, especially if it’s your first time using apps and sites, and finding good resources can be a challenge.
With Finding Mr. Adorable, singles can rest assured that they’re getting reputable advice from someone who truly understands what it’s like.
Practical Advice for Senior Women
When it comes to advice for senior women considering online dating, Deb said it’s all about being intentional. “Do a lot of thinking and research around who you are and what you want,” she said. “Don’t just decide to date and jump into it because that’s what gets you into trouble. The main thing is to tune into who you are now, who you want to be in a year, and who you want to be there with.”
These are big questions, but Deb said they’re essential for daters to ponder. Once they have the answers to these questions, they can get into the technical aspects of dating. Deb said the best dating apps and sites will differ from area to area and individual to individual, so it’s important to take inventory and choose the best site for your needs.
“I’m always keeping an eye on the best apps,” Deb said. “Right now, for our age group, which is 50+, my favorites are Zoosk, SilverSingles, Match, and OurTime. Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble can be good and have a lot of good elements, but I think the other sites are best for most singles I work with.”
Deb encouraged single women to keep their options open and explore a variety of sites and apps. “Don’t commit to a year on any dating site,” she said. “Talk to different people on different apps, and don’t be afraid to move around. I think it’s a good idea because there are different guys on different sites.”
Exploring romance later in life can be an amazing experience. Finding Mr. Adorable offers senior women nearly everything they could ask for as they prepare themselves to step back into dating, including a whole new mindset.
“The testimonials that I’ve received tell me that my clients are seeing dating—and themselves—in a new light,” Deb said. “They’re not feeling too old anymore. They’re not feeling like it’s too late. They’re realizing how much they deserve and then applying that belief to dating.”
