Why Dating Companies Are Bringing Social Networks Into Matchmaking

The dating industry has been so focused on optimizing matchmaking that we haven’t stopped to think about what we lose in the process. But now, as humans once again embrace traditional matchmaking, it’s clear what we’re craving: Humanity, socialization, and the comfort that comes from strength in numbers.  

There was a time when we saw the unprecedented control afforded to us by dating apps as a major benefit. In some ways, it still is; it’s nice knowing that there are countless profiles to search through on a dating app, your soulmate potentially just a few clicks away. 

Rivet has already raised $10.5 million in seed funding, suggesting that both consumers and investors are more interested than ever in human-led matchmaking. 

But solo swiping and self-made judgments, while important, are not the only way to approach matchmaking these days. Apps like Hinge and Rivet, and matchmaking companies like Tawkify, have embraced a more traditional matchmaking process, one where our loved ones — and complete strangers — have a say. 

Taru Kapoor, the former Tinder executive behind Rivet, told the Los Angeles Times that she believes in “making the crowd your wingmen.” It’s clear that the days of solely algorithmic matchmaking are behind us, and that social-led matchmaking just might be the future.

Case in point? Rivet has already raised $10.5 million in seed funding, suggesting that both consumers and investors are more interested than ever in human-led matchmaking. 

Rivet Is Turning Matchmaking Into a Group Activity

On the new dating app Rivet, strangers can vote on users’ compatibility with potential matches. These voters aren’t professional matchmakers, but “matchers” — people who volunteer to rate just how compatible someone is with a select few pre-vetted profiles. 

Some might see bringing strangers into the mix as a risky move, but Rivet is playing on the idea that these unbiased strangers might see something in a potential match that you don’t. 

Kapoor told the Los Angeles Times that Rivet is her attempt to counteract the “transactional” and “judgmental” nature of the swipe-happy dating apps she used to work for. 

“Humans introducing humans is the oldest technology,” Kapoor said. “A lot of people are turning to matchmaking — human curation — more than before, but it’s very expensive. If you can afford a $20,000 matchmaker, great. But if you can’t, how about I give you several different matches for free?”

This concept reminds me of Hinge's new Friend’s Take feature, which allows a user’s friends to vouch for them on their profiles. It’s a modern return to, as Kapoor put it, the “oldest technology”: Our strongest connections come from our own communities. 

We’re seeing this shift in several parts of the dating industry. Even Tawkify’s Scout Network incentivizes people to refer their social circles to the matchmaking platform, directly including them in the matchmaking process.

Rivet is a modern return to, as Kapoor put it, the “oldest technology”: Our strongest connections come from our own communities.

In fact, 79% of daters told Hinge that they already ask friends and family for input on their dating lives. 

Showing a friend your dating app profile and asking “Do you think I’d like this person?” is essentially an informal matchmaking exercise. Rivet takes this a step further by asking the question, “What if we trusted complete strangers to determine our best match?” In this way, you build a social network within the dating app. 

Kapoor plans to gamify the experience in an effort to foster the community’s connections. “People can log onto the app and there are live social match events happening live, with a host and a pair on the screen,” she said. “A lot of people join in and then the audience asks questions.”

The Industry is Shifting Toward Human-Led Matchmaking  

Rivet, Hinge, and Tawkify’s human-led approach to matchmaking is yet another sign that modern daters crave humanity over algorithms. 

Rivet is turning behavior we’re already seeing — consulting friends and online strangers alike for matchmaking input — into its core product. Gone are the days where we solely trusted an algorithm to make matches for us; now, we want human eyes and human brains to do the job, even if we don’t know them personally. 

While watching this trend, the same question kept popping into my head:

Is matchmaking becoming less about maintaining the biggest database and more about building a strong social network? 

Gone are the days where we solely trusted an algorithm to make matches for us; now, we want human eyes and human brains to do the job, even if we don’t know them personally. 

It’s true, after all, that we tend to engage heavily with the people we interact with online. Facebook acquaintances feel like real friends; Instagram DMs can feel as passionate as love letters; someone’s profile on a dating app can make them seem like “the one.” 

The concept that’s made social media so compelling also seems to apply to matchmaking: the more involved we are in each other’s lives — the stronger our social networks — the more likely we are to build authentic connections IRL. 

Ultimately, who we decide to spend our lives with is an individual, personal decision. But that doesn’t mean we have to make the decision alone.