Key Takeaways

Here’s a story about a lovely lady who was bringing up three very lovely girls. But unlike Carol Brady, this woman is living in the 21st century, where it takes more than a “hunch” to find your sitcom-worthy happily ever after. 

As a single mother, our heroine approaches dating — and dating apps — with a fair amount of skepticism. It’s hard enough when you’re a childless 20-something. What about when you’re a middle-aged single mother? 

Times have changed since the “Brady Bunch.” Blended families are not exactly rare anymore. There’s room in the dating industry for a platform tailored to the specific needs of single parents. 

Fifty-five percent of singles already identify as caregivers.

In fact, a new eharmony survey reveals a telling gender gap between the confidence levels of single moms and dads. Although 78% of single fathers are confident about the prospect of navigating blended-family dynamics, only 69% of single mothers feel the same. 

I don’t want to overgeneralize the single mother and single father experience. Some people may have a Brady Bunch-esque experience, complete with happy blonde children and a perpetually cheerful maid, while others have a, well, more chaotic experience. 

This much is clear: Since more than 55% of singles identify as caregivers, the dating industry must evolve to be more accessible to single parents.

Single Mothers Search for Safety Over Attraction

To say single mothers always resist new relationships while single fathers always embrace them would be a reductive version of the truth: Single parents, in general, have complicated feelings about romantic relationships, with single mothers displaying slightly more hesitation than single fathers, according to eharmony’s study. 

Laurel House, a relationship expert for eharmony, told DatingNews that single motherhood traditionally comes with more stigma and responsibilities than single fatherhood. She knows this from her own personal experience. ​“Single mothers are dating with their whole life in mind,” she told us. 

On the other hand, single fathers tend to date “as individuals first, parents second — at least in the early stages,” House said. Most men simply feel “a different level of risk awareness” than most women. 

“‘Is this person safe for my child, my home, my future?’”

While men tend to favor a vibes-first approach to online dating — “Am I attracted to this person’s profile photo?” — women don’t always have the luxury of picking partners based solely on chemistry. They must ask themselves, “‘Is this person safe for my child, my home, my future?’”

This impulse to “prequalify” matches is typically felt more strongly by single mothers than single fathers, House explained. Women already approach online dating with more caution than men; when they have to consider their child’s safety as well, the process requires even more caution on the part of the daters and of the platform itself. 

Women require high levels of trust from dating platforms, and this need only gets stronger when you add children to the mix. Suddenly, a woman’s own heartbreak is secondary to that of her child’s, further raising the stakes. 

Single Moms Often Have Clear-Cut Boundaries 

Single parents need dating platforms to help them articulate exactly what they’re expecting from a match or potential date, and they need this to happen as early in the dating process as possible. The point is to cut down on bad dates and false starts — what parent has time for that, anyway?

Here, House determined a striking difference in the way single mothers and single fathers usually present themselves on dating apps. “Single mothers tend to be clearer,” she said. They’re usually more likely to express clear-cut and immovable boundaries than single fathers. 

Meanwhile, “Single fathers often present lighter,” House said. They may come off as “More open-ended, more lifestyle-driven, less structured around what their real life actually requires.” 

Single mothers’ hyper-independence contrasts with single fathers’ need for a supportive partner.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to understand why this is. Single fathers don’t need permission to crave romantic attention, whereas single mothers are often placed into a box labeled “damaged goods.” 

House explained that single mothers often see dating as a way to add something to their lives (security, a father figure, etc) while single fathers are more open to rebuilding their lives entirely around a new partner. “Single moms are protective of their children and the life that she built around them,” House said. 

Many single mothers don’t have the luxury to put their short-term desire for attention and emotional satisfaction ahead of their family’s long-term need for security and alignment. Their hyper-independence contrasts with single fathers’ need for a supportive partner.

It’s essential for dating platforms to keep this in mind if they want to create truly high-quality matches. 

Single Parents Prefer Quality Over Quantity 

Apps are in the habit of streamlining the matchmaking process for speed and efficiency. AI automation is all well and good, but it’s meaningless to single parents who value accuracy over quick outcomes. 

Let’s generalize for a second: Childless singles are more likely to date for attention, while single parents are more likely to date for alignment. This obviously isn’t a hard-and-fast rule, but House suggests that there’s a kernel of truth to this generalization. 

“Parents don’t have time to waste on the wrong person, so they naturally move toward quality over quantity,” she explained. Chemistry is always important, but single parents tend to prefer matches that share their values and understand their worldview. 

Parents don’t have time to waste on the wrong person.

For single parents, children always come first — matches come second. This puts platforms in a complicated position, but in a way, it also clarifies their mission: to help single parents express their needs quickly while providing accurate matches. 

“When you’re carrying the emotional, logistical, and protective weight of a family, you don’t just ‘see where it goes,’ House explained. “You evaluate before you invest. That’s not hesitation — that’s strategic, thoughtful… that’s a parent.”  

To be strategic and thoughtful also describes the best kind of dating apps — the kind that adapts to the quickly changing needs of its users, whether they’re 19 and childless, 30 with toddlers, or 50 with adult children.