The Scoop: Relationship Expert Tamara Green helps clients calm their minds, create positive intentions, and navigate dating with a heart-centered, fun-loving approach. Many singles turn to her after experiencing nerve-wracking first dates or confusion over mixed signals from other online daters. Additionally, Tamara, who works with her husband, coaches singles who have been diagnosed with a serious illness or who are caring for someone else with a serious illness. She works on building self-love and self-care techniques to achieve success in loving relationships.
When people reflect honestly on their dating opportunities and romantic lives, investigating the emotions and feelings that surface can be cathartic. While some feel excitement and hope from their past relationships, others don’t.
That’s what Relationship Expert Tamara Green said she sees in many of her clients who express negative emotions about their search for love.
“The fear that’s out there among single men and women is palatable,” said Tamara, a licensed social worker based in New York who also works with clients around the U.S. “Whether they’re dating online or not, there is a climate of mistrust and anger. It’s come up more recently than I’ve ever experienced in the 12 years that I’ve worked in the world of dating.”
Those feelings of fear, cynicism, and general anxiety that accompany dating are even more prevalent in those who are reentering the dating scene after years of inactivity. Whether they were in a relationship or focused on work and didn’t have the time, the dating world kept moving, and it can be hard to find their footing again.
But, according to Tamara, it’s not the dating scene or online platforms that pose problems; it’s all of those past feelings.
“I ask clients, ‘Are you operating from a lot of fear and mistrust?’ If so, they’ll be in a lot of situations that will create more fear and mistrust,” she said. “I help people learn how to calm themselves down to where they get to a place of joy and excitement about this adventure called dating.”
Working With Caregivers and Those Who Have Illnesses
While Tamara’s clients span all demographics, she and her husband, David Dachinger, with whom she works, often reach out to those who have been diagnosed with a serious illness or are caregivers to those with serious medical issues — including cancer or auto-immune disease.
When someone is single and also dealing with these major life issues, coaching can help immensely.
“Part of my practice includes this group of people that I feel very passionate about. It’s my purpose to help them, and at the center of that process are self-care and self-love,” she said. “The trend is, ‘I want it quicker and faster,’ but my husband and I are developing quick and easy tools to help get you in a calm, grounded place. It’s about who you are, and that makes all the difference in the world you’re trying to navigate, especially relationships and dating.”
Tamara said she has developed a “heart-centered” style of coaching that she hopes will become more prevalent in the dating industry. To that end, she created the Loving Meditation app to share more happiness and love with the world. She even offers anyone who reaches out to her through her website a month-long subscription to the app for free.
Part of the goal, she said, is to ensure people feel supported and worthy of love — especially if they’re battling health problems or don’t feel like they should put love first in their lives.
“With the app, you feel like you’re being cared for and loved when you open up and listen and watch our meditations. People always tell us how calm and self-centered they feel after using it,” she said. “My main contribution is putting love out in the world because it’s so needed.”
Her Online Groups are Powerful Tools
Tamara said the latest way she’s been working effectively with clients is through online groups. She offers scheduled, live online conference calls that allow people to participate from wherever they are. She even manages one group specifically for caregivers.
“There’s a magic that happens in groups that doesn’t happen one on one,” she said. “Everything in this world is energy: people, our thoughts, even the chairs we sit on. If you’re one on one, you have two-people energy, but in a group setting, energy begins to build and expand, and something magical happens.
She said that deep and supportive connections are often made in groups as participants aren’t just told they’re not alone — they experience it.
That support system is essential because it can help alleviate the fears of people who are struggling with online dating. When singles put out fear, they often attract people who are looking to manipulate or take advantage of them.
“It is so nice to see that there is support for all these people who are looking for love or ways to improve their relationships,” Tamara said. “More heart-centered coaches and heart-centered online dating platforms, that’s my dream.”
Recently, Tamara has heard from many clients who say they are frustrated with online dating and want to meet someone organically. To that end, Tamara said she’d love to see more singles events or even couples events to bring people together.
Until then, she encourages people to join online groups.
Tamara Green: Offering Tips to Enjoy Your Journey to Love
When singles don’t deal with fears they have developed from past relationships, it can be challenging to move forward in dating without making the same mistakes. That’s why Tamara is expanding her business to reach as many of those fearful singles as possible.
Tamara and her husband offer many online meditation resources as well as a popular workshop called “One Minute to Calm.” In the class, the couple offers effective, scientifically proven tools to bring about a sense of relief when negative thoughts start to creep in.
“I teach breathing from your diaphragm. You put both feet on the floor and allow yourself to relax into a chair completely,” she said. Then you breathe down into your belly and open the diaphragm. It triggers the vagus nerve in your brain, which allows it to release calming hormones. Just six deep diaphragmatic breaths will calm you down.”
Another strategy she teaches in her workshops is tapping your fingers on your chest to help open the heart center.
“The heart often gets closed down and protected when you’re trying to protect yourself from getting hurt like you did in past relationships or in your childhood. But if you tap all over your chest, you begin to open your heart,” she said. “You create an effect that is very calming; it feels good, and gets you back to tuned into your inner wisdom.”
Many of Tamara’s clients are fellow therapists, coaches, and psychologists, and the trick to finding the right coach, she said, is to make sure they’ve done the inner work themselves.
“The ones who aren’t interested in personal growth usually have a problem. They’re pointing at the other person and not willing to look at themselves. That’s an issue and something to be aware of,” she told us. “It’s important to be with people who are self-reflective and willing to do the inner work.”