The Scoop: Many singles want to get better results from their dating lives, but many don’t know where to start. Relationship coach and psychologist Dr. Wendy Lyon explained why modern singles should give working with a dating coach a try. Dating coaches are wonderful resources for singles who want to gain confidence, clarify what they want from a relationship, and find long-lasting love.
When you’ve been single for a long time or jump in and out of bad relationships, it can feel like there’s no way to turn your love life around.
You try countless dating apps. You ask your friends to set you up. You hang out in bars or clubs, ready to chat with a potential suitor at a moment’s notice.
Or maybe, you turn inward, convinced that your romantic struggles are a deeper reflection on your attractiveness or quality as a partner. No matter what you do, you feel stuck.
Along the way, you may have seen advertisements for dating coaches, or perhaps heard about a dating seminar in your area. You may have considered it for a moment, or you may have written it off immediately as a waste of time or too expensive.
You might think that you know everything there is to know about dating, but there’s always more to learn in life and in dating. That’s where a dating coach comes in.
According to dating and relationship coach and psychologist Dr. Wendy Lyon, dating skills are absolutely coachable. Since 1999, Dr. Lyon has been helping singles and couples to find lasting love, fulfilling lives and fantastic relationships. In her opinion, too many singles write off the idea of a dating coach before they even try it.
“If you wanted to improve in your business, you’d hire a business coach, and if you wanted to improve your basketball game, you’d hire a basketball coach,” Dr. Lyon said. “Yet most people think that when it comes to finding love, it should just happen, like in fairy tales and romance novels. Most people also say that their relationships are the most important part of life, so if you want to find true love, hire a dating coach!”
Boost Your Confidence in All Facets of Life
Working with a dating coach can have a positive impact on your love life. But many singles find that improving their ability to date strengthens their confidence and their overall self-image, from their professional lives to their hobbies. They find it easier to take risks, respond well to challenges, and understand how not to take disappointments personally.
Dating coaches will work to shift your mindset while dating so you’re better able to attach securely to your partners and handle rejection in a positive manner. To succeed in dating, you need to be able to handle adversity with grace, put yourself out there, and understand that if a relationship doesn’t work out, it isn’t a reflection on your worth. After working through all these areas that spark insecurity, singles find they feel more self-assured in other aspects of their lives.
After over 20 years of working with clients, Dr. Lyon has seen many successes. She told us about one client, Kathy, who worked to overcome her insecurities and find her perfect relationship. She started working with Dr. Lyon in her mid-30s when she wanted to find a husband and start a family.
Kathy was self-conscious and uncomfortable with her body. She worried that men would not find her attractive at her current weight.
“During our work together, she shifted her old beliefs of feeling unworthy, started valuing herself more, treating herself with love and kindness, taking better care of herself, and radiating confidence,” Dr. Lyon said. “She got clear about the kind of respectful, loving relationship she wanted, unlike what she had tolerated before, and continued working with me until she met a fabulous guy who treats her like a queen.”
Now, Kathy and her husband are happily married and are raising a son together. And Kathy has a strong sense of self-confidence and personal empowerment.
Reframe Your Vision of What You Want
One reason why dating coaches are so valuable is that they can help you understand what you want from a relationship. Knowing that you want to date isn’t enough to accomplish your long-term romantic goals. A coach can help you identify what you want out of life, how a relationship fits into your plans, and the type of person who might envision the same future.
As a woman in my 20s, I have a number of fantastic female friends with a lot to offer who end up in the same bad relationships time and again. They date the same sort of guys over and over, often unsure why serious relationships never seem to come their way. While repeated bad relationships can sometimes be attributed to poor luck, they’re often also a product of lacking clarity about the type of person you want to start a relationship with.
Some people are continually attracted to those who are genuinely bad for them, while others are attracted to good people who just want different things out of life. Mere attraction is often a poor indicator of long-term compatibility. Working with a dating coach can help singles recognize the patterns in previous dates and relationships that have led to unfulfilling results.
Experienced dating coaches can help you come up with strategies to break your dating cycles, so you can start dating the type of person who will be good for you.
“Ideally, your coach will guide you to uncover and transform your fears, doubts and limiting beliefs so you feel radiant, deserving, empowered and confident about creating the life and love you want,” Dr. Lyon said. “A good coach will also help you to gain crystal clarity about your vision for the life and relationship you want and help you determine what is truly essential for you in the right relationship.”
Dating Coaches Like Dr. Lyon Help Singles Succeed in Love
Being single doesn’t mean dating has to be a solo process. Asking for help, guidance, and support is an important element of being a partner in a relationship, so you may as well get comfortable developing those skills as you try to find your mate. Dating coaches like Dr. Lyon are ready to help you achieve your ideal relationship and find the loving relationship you dream of. And if you work with the right person, you’ll have a good time along the way.
“With the right coach or program, you’ll be the chooser, not waiting to be chosen,” Dr. Lyon said. “You’ll have more fun dating and you’ll get support to bounce back from discouragement and persevere until you find the love of your life!”
If you’re interested in finding a dating coach but aren’t sure where to go, there are plenty of low-commitment resources available online. You can start with Dr. Lyon’s free True Love Guide for Singles which includes her Conscious Dating Quiz. With this valuable resource, you can identify what stops you from love, learn specific strategies to be your most lovable self and attract your ideal partner, and discover the three steps you need to take to find your True Love. The True Love Guide and Dating Quiz will help you get started on your journey to finding your love, and possibly, a coach to help you get there.
“You deserve caring support from an expert who can help you shift from lonely to loved, doubtful to joyful and from confused to crystal clear!” Dr Lyon said.