Study Finds Self-Led Dating On The Rise in India

In a recent India-based study from the dating app happn, 66% of respondents reported that they have fully taken charge of their own dating lives. This suggests a major cultural shift for Indian singles, many of whom traditionally participate in arranged marriages.

The happn survey may pertain to Indian singles, but the responses point to growing global cultural shifts around how and why people date. All around the world, modern daters are losing their enthusiasm for the perceived-rigidity of the average dating app, choosing instead to take a chance on real-life connections. 

It’s what happn CEO Karima Ben Abdelmalek describes as “Main Character Spirit,” a characteristic that “isn’t just a dating trend” as “it signals a deeper cultural shift.” 

Many Indian singles see arranged marriage as a vital element of cultural identity, one that deepens the connections between their family and their spouse. But as happn’s survey suggests, some modern singles crave more control over their romantic relationships. 

“Arranged marriages are still the norm in India, but there’s a growing trend for some women to choose their own partners — or not to marry at all,” Manveena Suri wrote for CNN. 

Some Indian Singles Want to Take the Lead in Dating Decisions

According to the BBC, a 2018 survey of more than 160,000 households throughout India found that 93% of married couples had been arranged. The happn survey suggests that this number may slowly be in decline. 

Or, it’s worth noting, the survey could also point to more relaxed attitudes toward arranged marriages — Not that they no longer take place, but that families allow their children to take their time and make their own decisions regarding arranged marriages.

Either way, change is clearly in the air: happn noted that 40% of surveyed Indian singles said they value clarity and self-awareness while dating. 

For 26% of Indian singles, the confidence necessary to a fulfilling relationship only comes from knowing exactly what and who they’re looking for. Indian singles would probably embrace a dating app or matchmaking service that takes their cultural background into account and helps them achieve this sense of emotional clarity.

Regardless of why Indian singles are dating, 47% of survey respondents told happn that they feel empowered when they date someone who takes the time to understand them and respect their needs and boundaries. 

“Empowerment” is a key word for anyone, but especially for Indian singles, the survey found. Just look at the 16% of singles who told happn that they feel empowered by their single status. 

According to happn, today’s Indian daters are quicker to end things if a person or relationship no longer serves them. They’re more assertive if they feel their needs are not being respected, and they place a stronger value on establishing boundaries. 

This is all essential information for the global dating industry, not to mention the matchmaking and marriage industries in India. happn’s findings suggest that the age-old reason for dating — to get married — has changed. 

Inside and outside of India, the days where people dated solely to get married are long past. Daters have more short-term expectations these days: to have fun, to find companionship, and most importantly, to find authentic love. 

“Main Character Spirit” is Sweeping the Globe 

The characteristics happn noted in its survey — assertiveness, self-clarity, and empowerment — describe what pop culture has dubbed Main Character Syndrome, but what happn has repurposed into Main Character Spirit. 

Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne describes Main Character Syndrome as “a form of egocentrism that leads people to overrate their importance in other people’s lives,” but happn has a more positive outlook on Main Character Spirit. 

“Across India, singles are moving from the margins to the centre of their romantic narratives,” said the CEO of happn, Karima Ben Abdelmalek. “They’re rewriting the rules, prioritizing themselves, and approaching relationships with clarity and confidence.” 

Abdelmalek doesn’t only see this as a brief cultural fad, but as a glimpse into the future of dating culture, perhaps even on a global scale. “At happn, we see this as a defining moment in how love is being pursued, expressed, and experienced today.” 

In the U.S., we’ve seen clear signs that daters are relaxing their expectations, but narrowing their focus. They’re willing to have an open mind about relationships, but are not willing to put up with bad behavior or disrespected boundaries. 

This inevitably changes the way daters interact with dating apps. Apps like Tinder and Grindr are trying to shed their “hookup culture” reputations to appeal to diverse groups of daters who seek authenticity. Bumble and Hinge, meanwhile, have doubled down on their shared missions to provide fulfilling, long-term relationships. 

In India and the U.S. alike, safety, authenticity, and control are valued above all else. Apps and dating services that fail to provide these needs will inevitably be left in the dust.