The Scoop: Person-centered therapy is in, and it’s really working for young people. Therapist Jennifer Teplin talked to us about client-centered therapy, its effectiveness for 20-something professionals, and how therapy is a good idea at any point in your life, not just when you’re down.
Nobody lives your life but you, and it’s super important to find a therapist who understands that. If you’ve ever had a Therapist-Knows-Best kind of experience, you know just how important it is to find a professional who believes you, and how much pain and frustration can come with one who doesn’t.
I’ve been in therapy for more of my life than I’ve been out of it, and through shifting diagnoses and differing opinions, I’ve met a few therapists whose style just didn’t work for me. I can go on and on about the therapists who weren’t a good fit, but it’s so much more fun to talk about great therapists.
The best therapist I’ve ever had wasn’t concerned about labels or previous diagnoses. She was there to listen to me, and I felt like what I said to her was the deciding factor in my treatment– not my file, not what she thought about me, or what her past experiences with different clients were telling her.
Our therapy sessions put me in the driver’s seat while she was along for the ride, offering support, insight, guidance, and tools along the way.
Looking back, that therapist was my favorite because, even on the hardest therapy days, I left her office feeling empowered. No one was telling me “what was wrong with me” or what I should do to fix it.
My amazing therapist empowered me to explore and understand how I felt, and then helped me come up with interventions that 1) I actually used, and 2) actually worked.
Person-centered approaches to therapy, like the one my best therapist used, are becoming more and more popular in therapy spaces. The approach is especially popular among young professionals who are trying to manage the chaos of their 20s and the relationships, jobs, and life changes that come with it.
Jennifer Teplin is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and the founder of Manhattan Wellness, a boutique psychotherapy practice in New York City. Jennifer talked to us about person-centered therapeutic approaches, why they’re so popular, and how therapy is a good idea for everybody, whether or not you’re struggling.
Major life disruptions, like breakups, are often the catalyst for people seeking therapy. Jennifer says if you start therapy before the trouble starts, getting through tricky situations is going to be that much simpler and far less tumultuous.
“We specialize in what we call the young professional,” Jennifer said. “That’s the 20 to 35 years old, who are dealing with dating, relationships, work stress, life stress, friendships, body image, and self-esteem on a daily basis.”
Manhattan Wellness Has a New Take on Counseling
Client-centered therapy has been popular in the past couple of decades, but before that, many therapeutic spaces were defined by an antiquated hierarchy. Think the Freudian-style images of a person reclined on a chaise, while a stoic bearded man writes down everything they say on a yellow legal pad.
Therapy was often defined by the position of the therapist, but Jennifer said things have changed. “Therapy has modernized,” she said. “We want to have more conversations, and remove the hierarchy that can come with traditional therapy.”
Jennifer defines her approach as humanistic and interpersonal. She focuses on the person, their background, experiences, and dreams while nurturing a strong and trustworthy therapist-client relationship.
“Therapy has gotten more flexible in how we do things and the why behind what we do,” Jennifer said. “When it comes to the style we work in, it’s real, it’s authentic. It’s like you’re talking to an older sister who’s relatable, who’s been there, who can support you. It’s more conversation and comfortable.”
Removed from the confines of traditional therapy, people can relax into a relationship with their therapist. You don’t have to worry about what to do or say or how to behave in therapy; you just have to show up.
Jennifer said most people aren’t looking for a therapist to tell them what to do. They’re looking for someone to listen to them.
“I think when you show someone that they have the answers on their own, and you’re just helping them gain clarity, you’re showing them that they’re still directing the conversation and they’re still the expert on their own lives,” Jennifer said.
Jennifer’s client-centered, interpersonal, and humanistic approach says the answers are already within you. She acts as your guide while you overcome obstacles, heal from past experiences, and step into a more self-actualized life.
With the Right Skills, Breakups are Speed Bumps
Most people start thinking about therapy when they need extra support, but Jennifer said the best time to start therapy is when life is smooth sailing.
“I always say the best time to come to therapy is when life is totally fine,” Jennifer said. “Because your therapist can really get to know you, and you get the opportunity to really feel comfortable in the space. And something will come up, because life always happens.”
When life happens, it’s great to have an established relationship with a therapist you love. Instead of being in crisis and having to search and find a counselor you jive with, you already have a trusting relationship.
Therapy plays a special role in the wake of a breakup. When breakups happen, it can feel like life stops for a bit, especially in the immediate aftermath. I’ve felt confused, lost, and overwhelmed by the reality that a relationship is over.
After a breakup, you often have to consider logistics along with the emotional side of things. Whether that’s moving out, finding a new place, or deciding who gets to keep the couch, the technicalities of a split can be overwhelming when you combine them with the emotional pain.
Breakups can disrupt some of the progress you make in therapy, but that’s an irrevocable aspect of the therapeutic process. “However we identify it, progress is never going to be linear,” Jennifer said. “Nothing in life foes in the exact trajectory that we want.”
Instead of imagining your therapy journey as a straight line, Jennifer recommends thinking of it as a squiggle on an incline. There will be ups and downs, but you’re moving in the right direction.
“When we have a breakup or any other kind of microtrauma or disappointment, we’re going to be shaken.” But that’s all just part of the process, and having low points in therapy means you’re exploring something sensitive and vulnerable– and that’s the objective!
Breakups can be nearly torturous, but Jennifer said with the right skills, tools, and support, they don’t have to be.
“If we have the coping skills and we have the tools, and, most importantly, someone to support us, we’re going to be able to continue moving forward,” Jennifer said. “Maybe we hit pause, maybe we pivot, but we’re still making choices and moving forward.”
Therapy Is a Gift to Yourself
Many of Jennifer’s clients are Gen Z, a generation that’s brought mental health concerns to the center stage. Mostly because there’s no other place for them to be; Gen Z experiences anxiety and depression at unprecedented rates compared to other generations.
Luckily, my generation is also down with therapy. Therapy has lost some of its stigma, but some people may still be hesitant about going to therapy. They may not feel comfortable in the space, or may think they’re not ready.
When people are unsure about therapy, Jennifer encourages them to ask themselves to imagine the worst thing that could happen. If you give therapy a try and it doesn’t work for you, you’re the same as you were when you entered the session. In other words, there’s no harm in trying.
“Therapy is a gift you give yourself,” Jennifer said. “You don’t always have to need something from it. Therapy can be a preventative way of hitting a really low dip.”
When you see therapy as an act of service to yourself, your whole approach changes. You’re not seeking therapy because there’s something “wrong” about you or your life. Instead, therapy is a way to stay consistently connected with yourself, and discern the wisdom you hold within.
“There’s nowhere else in the world that you get an hour dedicated just to you and your well-being,” Jennifer said. “That’s therapy. The spotlight is on you in the best way possible. I think everyone needs that reflective space.”
