The Scoop: Achieving a healthy relationship starts with a couple who is committed to putting in the required work. Dr. Jessica Higgins transforms relationships with professional coaching, genuine advice, and support. Jessica is on a mission to help couples along their journey and continues to empower people through her podcasts, courses, and many other services. People find Jessica’s technique of integrating psychology and coaching helpful as they pursue a fulfilling and healthy relationship.
Studies show that coaching is a beneficial and invaluable tool for people to develop the skills they need to be successful. According to the Institute of Coaching, “80% of people who receive coaching report increased self-confidence, and over 70% benefit from improved work performance, relationships, and more effective communication.”
Relationships improve when couples seek professional coaching to help them through the obstacles they face. Learning how to communicate, compromise, and blend your finances with your partner are all good examples of why people go to a professional coach. Some couples prefer going to coaching sessions rather than therapy because it focuses more on their social and relationship goals versus their mental health.
With two graduate degrees in psychology, two coaching certifications, and over 20 years of experience working with couples, Dr. Jessica Higgins knows a thing or two about helping people figure out the right next steps in their relationship.
“I’ve always had an inclination for why people do what they do and what they’re feeling but more specifically as it relates to relationships and my relationship struggles sparked my learning relationship principles and practices,” said Jessica.
As someone who believes in the phrase, “Practice what you preach,” Jessica went through her relationship issues to discover what works and what doesn’t work for a healthy relationship. By taking what she’s learned through her own experience, Jessica gives insightful tips to her clients to guide them in their love lives.
Jessica said that her ultimate goal is to help people acquire the insight, learning, and practice to navigate the terrain of intimacy more effectively. Jessica’s clients leave with more confidence and a better understanding of how to make their relationship work for the long haul.
Setting Your Relationship Up for Success
At the end of the day, everyone wants to have a successful relationship. Coming home to a partner who loves you and gets you is a feeling like no other. Couples who have passed the “do we like each other” phase have to put in serious effort and work for their relationship to reach longevity.
To set couples up for success, Jessica said that she tries to get a deep understanding of her clients first. She is then able to use her observations and knowledge to help her clients shift and transform their ways of relating. Most relationships fail, not because couples don’t truly love each other but because they lack understanding of one another. That is why Jessica aims to guide her clients away from confusion to clarity.
“I can’t say enough about Dr. Jessica Higgins’ relationship guidance and advice. Her support has been instrumental and has helped transform how I show up in my relationship,” said one of Jessica’s clients in a testimonial. “My relationship is stronger now, and I am not sure we would have had the same outcome without her knowledge and insight. I feel more empowered in myself and my relationship because of her help. Thank you!”
Couples can start working with Jessica by first scheduling a free strategy session. During the first session, they will discuss ways they can shift their relationship in a new direction so they can achieve happy and lasting love. After the first session, couples then can decide to commit to coaching sessions with Jessica that will require investing time, money, and energy into.
People who don’t want to participate in coaching sessions but still want to work toward relationship success can check out Jessica’s free advice on her blogs, podcast, courses, and comprehensive relationship program, Connected Couple. These resources can help couples start to build a stronger foundation and bond.
Shifting From Criticism to Connected Communication
One thing I learned from my relationship is that your partner can have a different communication style from yours. Your tone and choice of words play an important role in the way you communicate with your partner.
The way couples talk to one another is a common issue that many people face in their relationships. But for a couple to learn how to communicate better with each other, they must first learn what their communication style is.
In Jessica’s guide, “Shifting From Criticism to Connected Communication”, she advises couples on how to strengthen their communication with one another. Jessica said that certain things, such as identifying critical statements versus revealing statements, help people reverse-engineer conversations, especially in the early stages of a relationship.
Jessica told us that a common issue that she notices with couples is that they end up complaining, blaming, and criticizing one another when they aren’t able to properly express their emotions.
It’s a power struggle that often leads to relationships ending when they shouldn’t. Instead of expressing how they feel to one another, couples tend to play it emotionally safe — especially when they don’t want to be vulnerable.
Jessica’s guide addresses the consequences of poor communication and how properly communicating can lead to a stronger connection. She said that a good indicator of a healthy relationship is when a couple learns how to respond to one another. Responsiveness is a key component of communication because it shows your partner that you’re attentive and participating in the conversation.
“Having a growth mindset versus a fixed mindset in a relationship is essential,” Jessica said. “Recognizing that a relationship is a journey and we’re co-creating with our significant other and noticing our challenges along the way are an opportunity for growth. It’s less about the fit and how we handle the upsets together.”
Dr. Jessica Higgins is a Transformational Coach
Transformation in a relationship doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a process that requires both partners to be patient and willing to do the work. Jessica said the real goal is to look at how she can help couples get to a win-win situation where both of them feel like they’re getting what they need out of the relationship.
A key factor to achieve a transformative relationship is knowing your partner’s tender spots. Certain things, such as anxiety, abandonment issues, and fear of being vulnerable, all stem from something. Jessica works with her clients to help them understand what those triggers are and how to help their partner through them.
Jessica told us she recently worked with a couple who was on the brink of getting a divorce. The wife frequently made critical comments that pushed her husband away. Throughout their sessions with Jessica, the couple finally made a breakthrough when the wife opened up and expressed the fears that were at the root of her criticisms. Her honesty and vulnerability changed everything.
Jessica said she sees magic happening all the time in her sessions where she is witnessing partners open up and soften up to one another. When a couple can be vulnerable and access a different level of connection, they can strengthen their connection and overcome those challenges that come along the way.
“Cultivating lasting intimacy is a process and it takes time to do the work and through the work comes that deep intimacy. It’s not about choosing the right person, we can feel a ton of chemistry but the real sense of knowing and having each other’s back comes from the challenges,” said Jessica.
