Intimacy: a word with countless definitions, some of which contradict each other. Is intimacy only felt in quiet, sensual moments? Or can couples achieve intimacy while being lighthearted and adventurous in the bedroom? Nico Velotta, Relationship Scientist and Head of Relationship Research at Arya, explained to DatingNews.com how the beauty of intimacy lies between the contradictions. The company recently released its 2025 Couples and Intimacy Trends study about modern-day intimacy trends.
With more than 200,000 respondents, Arya’s study is one of the largest on the topic. The study gathered participant opinions on adventurous sex, the role of romance, and the necessity of exploration. The most mind-boggling statistic sets the tone for the rest of the study: 90% of those who felt unsatisfied in their sex lives also felt disconnected from their partner.
In a Q&A with DatingNews.com, Nico explained how Arya’s study reveals a pressing need for emotional connection and sexual exploration among modern couples. He also provided insights into how the dating industry as a whole can meet the needs of these consumers.
Gone are the days where scented candles and sexy lingerie were all a couple needed to garner intimacy (if those days ever existed at all). If the dating industry wants to evolve, then it has to offer products and services that actually facilitate emotional connection, not just physical connection.
The report mentions a general shift toward adventurous sex and non-traditional expressions of intimacy. What do you think is driving this shift? Is the bondage/S&M industry about to explode, or has it been building in popularity for some time?
The shift toward adventurous sex and non-traditional intimacy isn’t surprising when we look at the data.
Our research shows that 36% of people identify as “Adventurers” in their Erotic Persona — making it the largest group — but it’s not just about bondage or BDSM. While 22% are interested in bondage, the highest interest (28%) is actually in sensory play. This suggests a broader evolution in how people approach intimacy.
It’s not so much an explosion of any one practice, but rather a gradual awakening where people are becoming more comfortable exploring diverse forms of connection. They’re seeking varied ways to enhance intimacy, supported by better education and reduced stigma around sexual exploration. The industry isn’t about to explode – it’s been steadily growing as people become more open about their desires.
It’s interesting how so many couples experience periods of sexlessness in their relationships. What outside factors should people in the dating/sex product industries consider when creating products for these couples/individuals?
When it comes to sexlessness in relationships, our research reveals it’s far more nuanced than many people realize. It’s not just about physical intimacy; many couples (about one-third of respondents) are actually seeking more sensuality and romance rather than just more sex.
We’re seeing significant impacts from life transitions like menopause, which affects 24% of couples, body image issues affecting 15% who feel uncomfortable being naked with their partner, and physical challenges where 17% experience pain during sex.
Perhaps most notably, 57% struggle with discussing sex openly. Product developers need to understand that sexlessness often stems from these deeper issues rather than just lack of desire. Success in this market requires addressing these underlying factors rather than focusing solely on the physical aspects of intimacy.
There’s been a general trend toward playful, adventurous sex with increased communication. Do you think this trend will be short-lived or long-term?
Looking at our research with over 100,000 respondents, I’m confident in saying this trend toward playful, adventurous sex with increased communication represents a fundamental shift rather than a passing trend.
When 75% of couples report feeling more connected after trying new things together, it’s hard to imagine a world where couples say “no” to better sex and intimacy. It’s particularly telling that this movement spans across age groups and relationship stages; it’s not just younger couples or new relationships driving this change.
We’re seeing a broader cultural shift toward more open, experimental approaches to intimacy, grounded in better communication and mutual exploration.
What sort of impact on the dating industry do you anticipate from these trends?
These trends are reshaping the dating industry in fascinating ways. Our research shows most couples have different Erotic Personas, which is changing how we think about compatibility. The industry needs to evolve beyond simple “matching” based on interests or demographics to consider deeper aspects of intimacy styles and communication preferences.
We’re seeing a growing demand for platforms that can facilitate authentic discussions about desires and boundaries early in the dating process. The future of dating apps and services will likely focus more on helping people understand and communicate their intimate needs rather than just creating connections. There could be a premium placed on daters and relationships that have a clear interest in erotic exploration and literacy.
More plainly: more of us are going to concentrate on what happens after swiping right, and we will expect dating apps to help us forecast sexual and intimate compatibility.
Do you have any advice for singles heading into 2025?
For singles heading into 2025, our research points to some clear priorities. Understanding your own Erotic Persona – whether you’re a Romantic, Adventurer, Director, or Connector – will help determine the keys of finding erotic compatibility within new partnerships.
Given that 90% of sexually unsatisfied couples report feeling disconnected, it’s clear that sexual compatibility and communication need to be prioritized early in relationships. Focus on finding partners who match your communication style as much as your physical preferences. Our data shows that 75% of couples feel closer when they explore sex together, so staying open to growth and learning with a partner is key to making sexual and emotional well-being in relationships.
The most successful relationships aren’t necessarily those that start with perfect compatibility, but those where both partners are willing to communicate and explore together.
