Key Takeaways:

  • Society pressures people, especially women, to marry and have children before time runs out.
  • 51% of women aged 65+ are single compared to only 29% of men.
  • Many find their most exciting years come later in life. Many older women don’t feel compelled to remarry.

Does anyone else hear that annoying ticking noise? It’s almost nonexistent during childhood, but the older people get, the louder and more insistent the ticking gets. Marriage, marriage, marriage, the ticking chants. And if you’re capable of bearing children? Babies, babies, babies.

Some people are motivated by the ticking; others are taunted by it. People hold on to the idea that if they achieve their goal before the timer runs out, they’ve “won” at life. But what happens after the clock runs out? You don’t necessarily ride off into the sunset with your spouse and children. Life is full of twists and turns, and as many of us find out, our most exciting years are not always reserved for our 20s and 30s.

A recent Pew Research study found that 51% of surveyed women aged 65 and older are unpartnered, compared to just 29% of men in the same age group. The study points to an interesting trend among women of all ages: Women in general are more likely to be unpartnered than men (44% to 40%), but the unpartnered gap widens even further as women get older.

Unlike newly single older men, newly single older women aren’t hurrying to walk down the aisle again or to cohabitate with a partner.

Do Women Get Too Old to Date?

This data certainly laughs in the face of the enduring stereotype that women are always on the hunt for men. Does this shift mean that older women are embracing singledom with open arms, or are they simply giving up on dating altogether?

DatingNews spoke to Jennifer Teplin, clinical director and counselor at Manhattan Wellness, about the emerging phenomenon. According to her, older women being unpartnered is a more nuanced trend than we expected.

For one, women aren’t traditionally taught to embrace aging, particularly when they’re unpartnered. “As a society, women are devalued as they begin to age,” Jennifer told us. “Older men are seen as the more attractive of the two aging genders.” It’s why no one batted an eye when Patrick Dempsey was named People’s Sexiest Man Alive at 57 years old, while Pamela Anderson made headlines when she went bare-faced to an awards show at the same age. Both celebrities are known for their good looks, but only one stood out for not covering up the normal signs of aging with makeup.

Another Pew Research study, this one from 2019, found that non-daters aged 50 and older are more likely (25%) to say that they feel too old to date. The older we get, the less interested — or the less confident — we seem to be about our place in the dating world. Case in point: 30% of non-daters aged 65 and older are particularly likely to allow age to stop them from dating.

Of course, anyone who is unpartnered over the age of 65 most likely has one of two reasons why: death or divorce. In 2020, Pew found that 56% of divorced singles and 74% of widowed singles are less likely to jump back into the dating pool. And since the dating pool only gets smaller as people age, it’s less likely that unpartnered elders will suddenly choose to say “I do” to marriage or cohabitation.

After 65+ Years, the Pressure to Date Is Alleviated 

Older singles aren’t always unpartnered because they feel insecure about their age, however. Although 53% of surveyed 18-29 year olds feel pressured by society to be in a relationship, this pressure seems to lessen with age. Over half of single adults aged 65 and older don’t feel the pressure to partner up at all. Pew noted how a majority of these older adults also reported being divorced or widowed, which explains why so many elders have a more relaxed attitude toward finding a second (or third) love.

Jennifer pointed out where some of the pressure on young people — particularly young women — comes from. “Since women have a set window to have children, the pressure is felt more strongly by young women than young men to settle down,” she explained. After a certain age, the pressure to procreate is no longer an issue for women.

There has always been a divide between when men and women prefer to be single. In pop culture, young men who seek casual flings are portrayed as studs while young women with similar desires are seen as sluts. This may help explain why Pew’s 2025 study found that younger men are more likely to be unpartnered than younger women.

It isn’t until middle age (40-54) that the percentage of unpartnered women overtakes that of unpartnered men. We can chalk this shift up to two factors. For one, men have a generally shorter life expectancy than women; they can’t partner up with someone if they’re dead. Secondly, men can play their role in the reproductive process anytime, anywhere, at any age, which is why many men choose to settle down later in life.

More People Are Partnering Up Than Ever Before

Between 2019 and 2023, an intriguing shift occurred among adults in the U.S. A slow but steady uptick in partnerships points to an increased desire for connection… or, at least, for the benefits of married or partnered life. But don’t be fooled; this uptick doesn’t mean more people are getting married. It simply means that fewer people are getting divorced.

One question remains: Are older women unpartnered because of circumstances out of their control (i.e. death), or because they want to embrace single life for the first time? The perils of aging, including a lack of confidence, cannot be the only reasons why more than half of the older women surveyed by Pew reported being unpartnered. It’s possible that the 2019 Pew study hints at yet another social shift: 71% of older women reported that they simply weren’t looking to date, compared to 42% of older men.

Perhaps older women are tired of the incessant ticking of society’s clock. By embracing their single status, they’re reclaiming control — and, for the first time, enjoying some peace and quiet.