Key Takeaways

Matchmakers Lisa Ratner (Lisa Ratner Matchmaking) and Hayley Hurst (Cohen Gray Connections) are experimenting with a collaborative matchmaking model — jointly signing clients while keeping their firms separate. 

“The client gets two firms, two personal networks, two databases, two people on their account,” Hurst explained to DatingNews.

Competition is fierce in the matchmaking world, and some matchmakers see their peers as obstacles. But Ratner and Hurst say that collaboration only makes them more accessible and more powerful in an oversaturated industry. 

This approach may represent a new blueprint for growth and client value for the dating industry. By offering “two-for-one” expertise without increasing the cost, they’re positioning collaboration as a competitive advantage.

“We’re splitting the fee, we’re strategizing together,” Ratner said. Quality matchmaking doesn’t come cheap, and Hurst noted how industry collaboration allows her and Ratner to provide “double the attention for not double the price.” Hurst and Ratner can combine their strengths and save a little money in the process. 

It’s a unique partnership that Arlene Washburn, a matchmaking ethics mentor at Love Pro Mastermind Academy, said could be the future of ethical matchmaking. “Collaboration over competition gives clients more comprehensive support without either firm losing its independence,” she told us. 

Collaboration Creates New Opportunities in Matchmaking

Some forms of collaboration aren’t unheard of in the matchmaking world, and typically exist in three forms: complementary roles, referral partnerships, and data access. 

“Two firms may share responsibilities for a client,” Washburn said describing a collaboration of complementary roles. “For example, one focuses on traditional matchmaking while the other supports the client’s online dating activities.” 

Ratner and Hurst told DatingNews that they take a similar approach to their collaboration, with Ratner handling the business sides and Hurst handling online dating, though both matchmakers maintain separate businesses. 

It’s up to the individual matchmaker to decide if their skill set is aligned with the client’s needs. If it’s not, there’s no reason why they can’t use their connections to refer the client out to a more suitable matchmaker. By working together, Ratner and Hurst are more likely to meet clients’ needs without diminishing the financial value of their individual contracts. 

“I think part of the reason more people don’t do what we’re doing is because they don’t want to split the financial piece of the puzzle,” Hurst said. Yes, collaborating means sharing the wealth. But it also means sharing opportunities that only grow when there are two people at the helm. 

“The reality is you can service double the amount of clients because there’s two hands on deck,” Hurst told us. 

These collaborations lead to what Washburn calls a “win-win”: “Clients benefit from more tailored services and greater opportunities to connect, while matchmakers expand their reach, improve outcomes, and strengthen professional relationships.”

Shared Databases Amplify Matchmakers’ Impact

Any matchmaker worth their salt understands the importance of a well-maintained client database. 

It’s not unusual for matchmakers to request access to colleagues’ databases to help widen their searches, and as Washburn explained, “it’s appropriate to pay for that access, ensuring the originating firm is compensated for the value they’ve created.”

For Ratner, the key to successful collaboration is a healthy database and trusted industry connections. To network is to build one’s credibility. And for matchmakers who are building their own databases and credibility, Ratner’s advice is to remain patient. 

“I’m building my database. I’m building my pipeline for new clients,” she told us. It’s a curation process that can take years to refine, making collaboration with other matchmakers vital. “It also took a year for me to build my trusted network of matchmaker collaborators,” Ratner pointed out. 

Ratner and Hurst met at Global Love Institute, where they discovered that they “felt aligned when it came to ethics and values and how we service clients,” Hurst said. Both matchmakers quickly realized that in this industry, “two brains are better than one” — and so are two databases. 

“It builds the confidence of each of us individually, but also the confidence that we can deliver for the client,” Hurst told us. 

Collaboration Keeps Ethics at the Forefront 

Hurst said collaboration can’t work if the matchmakers have differing values. 

“The number one lesson I learned is that whoever you do collaborate with, it is so important that they align on the ethical side of it,” she said. “We’re in an unregulated industry. Unfortunately, not everybody plays by the rules.” 

This is why it’s essential for matchmakers to choose the right people to collaborate with. 

“Recognize where your strengths are and where your weaknesses are, and then you want to latch on to the people that are opposite of you,” Hurst advised. It’s important, she said, for matchmakers to “let go of pride,” otherwise, you may never learn, evolve, or grow. 

Hurst pointed out how most aspects of matchmaking are driven by emotion, both for the clients and for the matchmakers. It helps to have more than one matchmaking expert around to give their unique perspective and contrasting insights. 

“Having support for the tough conversations as a team, I think that is really powerful,” Hurst said. “If a situation arises, you come together in that partnership… I think that’s really special.” Washburn agreed:  “When handled properly, [collaboration] elevates the entire industry.”