What Counts as Cheating? AI and OnlyFans Are Blurring the Lines

A recent YouGov survey made a strong statement: 46% of nearly 2,000 surveyed Britons said they value trust more than anything else in their relationships. What’s less clear, however, is which behaviors violate this trust — and whether the dating industry actually profits off of romantic betrayal. 

You can see this growing confusion for yourself in YouGov’s findings. Although 47% said that directly engaging with sexual content creators, like OnlyFans models or Camgirls, counts as cheating, this leaves more than 50% of respondents who believe that this act, while not harmless, does not count as cheating. 

AI chatbots and virtual companions are an increasingly common way for people to explore their sexuality, even while they’re already in a relationship: 30% say being romantic or sexual with an AI bot or companion is cheating, and 41% say it’s not cheating — but that it isn’t a harmless act, either. 

It seems to me that the very products that have come to define modern intimacy, such as AI-enabled chatbots and even OnlyFans subscriptions, have made betrayal more difficult for daters to define. 

On the internet, boundaries can blur and lines can be crossed with a single click. With YouGov’s survey in mind, I can’t help but wonder if dating professionals have a moral responsibility to help their clients decide what “betrayal” means to them — especially if they’re often selling the products creating this confusion in the first place. 

“Connection” Has More Than One Meaning These Days 

Nowadays, “connection” is altogether more public — and more shameless. Boundary-pushing online tomfoolery (for lack of a more interesting phrase) is all the rage. Yes, people still want to make quick, surface-level, sexually-gratifying connections by watching porn or reading online erotica.

But the internet has also blurred the lines between “vicarious involvement” and “actual involvement,” making genuine intimacy — something we never would’ve associated with quick sexual gratification — shockingly easy to achieve. 

In other words? YouGov’s survey respondents say there’s a big difference between looking at a dirty picture and chatting with a camgirl. When it comes to betrayal, a dirty picture might lead to an awkward moment. But an extended texting relationship with someone who makes a living in sex work makes a much deeper cut, even if the relationship is one-sided. 

Obviously, a couple’s definition of “betrayal” depends on whether they consider sexual betrayal and emotional betrayal to carry the same weight, and therefore the same consequences. These respondents were torn: 40% said sexual betrayal without an emotional connection was worse, and 25% said that an emotional affair without sex was worse. 

Still, you can’t deny how painful it might be to discover that your partner has developed an emotional bond with an AI persona, and has told them things they’ve never felt comfortable enough to tell you. What happens if your partner’s feelings turn romantic? Who’s to blame — you, your partner, or the person who created the AI persona in the first place? 

It’s fair to say that most of these products, from that AI persona to the camgirl, are not outright selling romantic relationships. But many sell experiences that a traditional partner would normally play. The definition of “connection” seems to change daily; is it any wonder the dating industry can’t keep up? 

Accessibility Has Changed Our Boundaries 

The dating industry isn’t only made up of dating apps and matchmakers anymore. Everyone wants a piece of the billion-dollar pie; AI chatbots, VR companions, and sexual content creators refuse to hide in the shadows alongside those dusty old Playboys. And thanks to the internet, they’re all far easier to access than those Playboys ever were. 

And with accessibility comes a common misconception: The easier it is to get, the more universally acceptable it is. 

It is so easy to subscribe to someone’s OnlyFans account, to send them money on a monthly basis. Before you know it, you’re adding financial value to their life, and they’re adding sexual or even emotional value to yours. And guess what? It seems like everyone else is doing the same thing. 

But if we’ve learned anything from YouGov’s stats, it’s that ubiquity doesn’t equate acceptability. Even if someone doesn’t consider an emotional attachment to an online sexual content creator or AI persona to be “cheating,” it does, some respondents say, point to major red flags in the real-life relationship. 

What Should The Dating Industry Do About This?

As an industry, we’re stuck between a rock and a hard place and a third place with razor blades on the walls: AI is transforming the industry whether we like it or not, but it’s also introducing new challenges faster than we can address them, and, oh, yeah — daters don’t want to use AI, but they don’t not want to use it, either. 

All this is to say that it’s important for the industry to hold on to what we can do, which is help couples express their boundaries in clear, actionable ways. To do this, we first have to understand why so many people have such diverse definitions of cheating in the first place. 

YouGov’s stats highlight how two people might interpret the same behavior differently.

YouGov’s stats highlight how two people might interpret the same behavior differently. It’s like I said earlier: You might not see your increasingly sexual or romantic conversations with an AI persona as a big deal, but your partner might see it as a betrayal. 

Or, even more usefully for dating professionals: This kind of betrayal also says a lot about what each person believes is lacking in their relationships. 

The person texting the chatbot might feel like they can’t be honest with their partner, and the other person in the relationship might feel like their partner simply wants to be with someone without complicated emotions. 

Not every person in the world is secretly obsessed with AI sex or camgirls. But they’re just accessible enough to warrant a conversation about boundaries — not only between couples, but between dating professionals and the people who pay them for guidance. 

After all, with nearly half of Britons saying that trust is the most important part of their relationships, the industry clearly has a vested interest in helping couples define what trust means for themselves.