Key Takeaways

When Dating.com surveyed 1,000 adults about how tech influences their relationships, what they found was enlightening: Many of us engage in “telesexuality,” or when our relationships — love, sex, and all — exist entirely online. Case in point: 30% of respondents said they would marry someone they’ve only known online. 

Maybe this sounds impossible. Maybe this sounds like a young person’s excuse to shield themselves from real commitment, real emotions, and real heartbreak. 

But for many people who find themselves wrapped up in an online relationship, the passion is real. They’re not “hiding” from anything, but are truly committed, and they experience real heartbreak if and when the online relationship ends. 

“In digital relationships, people often have more time and space to reflect and express themselves, which can lead to more in-depth conversations.” — Jaime Bronstein, LCSW

Jaime Bronstein, a resident therapist at Dating.com, says it takes “communication, consistency, trust, and vulnerability” to build emotional intimacy — all qualities that can exist just as easily online as in person. 

In fact, people may be more willing to get deep with a partner from behind a screen than IRL. “In digital relationships, people often have more time and space to reflect and express themselves, which can lead to more in-depth conversations,” she said. 

The lesson here is clear: Just because people are fatigued by the typical dating app experience doesn’t mean they aren’t open to online relationships, especially if a platform fosters the emotional intimacy couples crave. 

Why Would You Marry Someone You’ve Never Met?

To telesexual daters, real-life interaction is not the only way to experience intimacy. To say that they’re marrying someone “they’ve never met” is a lie, because they have, in fact, met and connected with each other at an emotionally complex level, albeit online and not IRL. 

It’s hard to imagine that anyone would pledge the rest of their life to someone they’ve never met, but keep in mind that telesexuality does not describe the average surface-level Tinder connection. “Fully online relationships are not passive or surface-level,” according to Dating.com. “They are structured, intentional, and often mirror real-life dating behaviors.” 

“Fully online relationships … are structured, intentional, and often mirror real-life dating behaviors.” — Dating.com

There was a time when online dating was akin to announcing “I can’t get a date IRL.” And we can’t ignore the stench of slut-shaming surrounding Tinder and its original hookup-based mission. But as Dating.com put it, “online relationships are not inherently casual.” 

In fact, more than half (56%) of respondents say they’ve introduced their friends and family to their online partner. They wouldn’t do this if they didn’t feel like the relationship had real potential, and if they didn’t have an authentic connection with each other, despite never locking eyes in person. 

It’s possible that these daters value the strength of the emotional connection even more than traditional in-person attraction. “Telesexuality is not just about emotional intimacy,” Dating.com explained. “It is also reshaping how people experience attraction.” 

A Dating.com survey finds 30% of adults would marry someone they have never met in person.

So, Do Online Couples Never Have Sex?

How can telesexual couples experience sexual satisfaction, a major part of most relationships, if they never, you know, meet in person? Pishposh, said 60% of respondents. For some, intimate moments can be just as fulfilling over text, phone calls, or video chat as they are IRL.

Sixty percent say intimate moments can be just as sexually fulfilling in a virtual setting.

In fact, absence really does make the heart grow fonder for a whopping 82% of respondents, who said that never meeting IRL heightens the exhilarating “mystery” of an online relationship. 

Platforms can acknowledge the rise of telesexuality by giving daters innovative and safe ways to share intimate moments. Intuitive UX, AI tools, and secure video chats only scratch the surface of the types of intimacy tools these couples need. 

Sixty percent say intimate moments can be just as sexually fulfilling in a virtual setting.

Grindr, for one, is creating resources to help IRL and online couples alike talk about chemsex, an oft-stigmatized reality for countless GBTQ+ couples. These types of resources aren’t just about safety, but education, and amplifies an online platform’s power to positively impact its users’ intimate lives. 

With 61% of respondents confirming that they’ve had actual dates online, people don’t only want platforms to create comfortable and romantic date environments — they expect them to. 

Are We More Comfortable Online Than In Real Life? 

Thirty-three percent of respondents said they feel more comfortable online than IRL, a stat I don’t find to be particularly shocking. After all, expressing emotions and building intimacy can be as draining as it is fulfilling, especially since it forces us to be consistently vulnerable. 

Platforms and their intuitive communication tools can carry much of this emotional load. 

Bronstein highlighted the importance of intentionality, especially when working with text and images instead of conversing in real life. “Without physical cues, partners need to be more intentional in how they communicate, listen, and build trust,” she advised — and this goes for platforms, too. 

After all, people don’t shy away from long-distance online relationships anymore, thanks in part to FaceTime, relationship advice apps, and virtual therapy. For 47% of respondents, an online relationship was the natural next step after falling in love with someone who lived far away. 

Daters’ interest in dating apps may be fading, but the internet isn’t, and it will always be a popular meeting place for singles. Dating.com’s findings suggest that people are still interested in what the online dating industry has to offer — not only for hookups, but for long term, intimate relationships, too.