Report Finds Singles Use AI in Dating, But Judge Matches for Doing the Same

Authenticity and AI: Two words that are closely linked in the dating industry, despite their conflicting definitions. 

Now, the dating app Hily’s T.R.U.T.H report has found that a majority of surveyed daters (82% of Gen Z, 87% of millennials) use AI while online dating, even though 69% of Gen Z and 74% of millennials also think using AI on dating apps makes connections less authentic. 

Despite the rise of AI, today’s daters crave authenticity in a way they didn’t back during the 2010s dating app heyday. And when incorporating AI features into a dating platform, the company naturally puts its own authenticity, as well as the user’s authenticity, at risk. 

After surveying 1,559 American daters, Hily’s T.R.U.T.H report (Trends & Realities: Unfiltered Truth Highlighted) found that AI is far from a passing trend. “People are using AI for all kinds of reasons: to save time, be their best selves, fabricate information or secure a desirable date at all costs,” Dr. Daniel B. Shank, PhD, said in Hily’s report. 

Shank, an Associate Professor of Psychological Science at Missouri University of Science and Technology, added: “Only careful research — like the T.R.U.T.H. report — tells us what’s really going on, and that’s how we help daters navigate the world of AI-powered dating.”

Most Daters Are Turned Off By AI-Generated Profiles

Assumptions abound when it comes to AI, especially this one: “Only lazy people communicate using AI.” In reality, the reasons why people use AI on dating apps can be surprisingly complex. 

Hily found that genuine dater insecurity plays a bigger role in AI usage than one may think. More than half of millennials (62%) and 45% of Gen Z daters told Hily that AI simply helps them optimize their dating skills, like spellcheck but for flirting. 

When asked whethr AI can help daters present their best selves on dating apps, a Gen Z respondent, Christopher, had a mixed response. “Yes and no,” he told Hily. “[AI] can account for things like grammatical errors and spelling mistakes, but the authenticity of the written statements is lost.” 

It seems that people want to use AI, but they don’t want anyone else to use AI. Hily found that 54% of young female and 63% of male American daters would be less attracted to a match on a dating app who they suspect used AI to create their profile. 

Still, 57% of female daters and 47% of male daters said they believe AI companions could eventually replace the need for flesh and blood romantic partners. But knowing this could happen is not the same as accepting it.

Hily said 35% of young female daters and 20% of male American daters “wouldn’t date someone they knew had an AI romantic partner in the past.”

Using AI in a professional setting is one thing; using it in a social or romantic setting, when authenticity is key to finding genuine love, is a much different story. According to Hily, modern daters still have a ways to go when it comes to destigmatizing AI usage in the emotion-led dating app space.

AI Is An Important Tool — Not a Leader

Daters are often overwhelmed by the idea of a blank profile, which may be why 51% of women and 50% of Gen Z use AI to make their profiles more dynamic. 

Dr. Marisa T. Cohen, PhD, Hily’s Research and Authentic Relationship Expert, pointed out the upsides to platforms that offer AI profile refreshers. “Use AI to shape your hobbies and interests into a snappy, attention-grabbing narrative,” she suggested. 

Particularly sharp platforms offer AI features when daters are most insecure: at the very beginning of a potential connection, when so much hinges on the opening line and early conversations.

Daters want AI features that suggest ways someone can make their profile more interesting without actually doing all the work for them. At the end of the day, a profile is meant to introduce the user to a vast network of potential dates.

It’s just as important for the user’s personality to shine through as it is for the person to feel confident in their profile. 

The qualities so many of us try to conceal — our awkwardness, nervousness, earnestness — are often the qualities that endear us to others. AI doesn’t always bring these endearing traits back to the surface. In fact, it can take the charmingly imperfect humanity right out of one’s profile.

Men (52%) and millennials (47%), meanwhile, are more likely to use AI to provide icebreakers and conversation suggestions. But it’s important that AI doesn’t become a crutch. “Use it to find interesting topics or give you fun date ideas,” Cohen suggested. “It should be you and your match driving the conversation.”

Everyone suffers from social paralysis from time to time, and AI-generated conversation starters that break up the tension without controlling the dialogue would more closely meet the needs of modern daters. 

The “truth” behind AI seems to be that more people use it than they’d like to admit. At this point, AI usage is akin to a runaway train: It’s full steam ahead, and dating professionals must decide for themselves if they can provide AI tools in a way that meets user needs without fully taking control.