Key Takeaways

I don’t know about you, but I am the kind of girlie who loves to listen to a voice note from friends, family, and yes, even those I am swiping on, like a podcast.

And I bet most of us women in our 20s to 30s who are on the dating market would agree — there is something really hot and refreshing about hearing a potential date’s voice before you meet them. Am I right?

It makes me think back to a few years ago when, after writing a story on queer sex during Pride month for Refinery29, another bisexual girl slid into my Instagram DMs to tell me she loved the piece.

We ended up texting a bit, but soon switched to voice notes which turned into all-night chats, to amazing IRL drinks, to even better IRL sex, to a situationship, to now, an amazing irreplaceable friendship.

The thing I attribute to our chemistry? We started off literally hearing each other. 

So, although we didn’t meet on a dating app, we still met digitally. Thank you, Instagram. But still, had we met on an app, we could have simulated the same connection and chemistry if the app had a built-in way to do so.

After all, what I found so appealing was not just the conversation, but the inflection of her voice or the way I could hear her smile while she talked or just being able to ramble to her for no reason at all, and her still liking me anyway.

The question is: What if dating apps could simulate more of what makes in-person chemistry spark before the first IRL meetup? In my opinion, that means letting voice notes enter the chat for good.

Why swiping alone isn’t cutting it anymore 

If you know me by now, you know that I’ll state the obvious. Typing and still images have limits — they’re often curated, performative, or low-context — and folks who are using your apps are tired of it. Plus, without voice notes or video options, there can be a huge intimacy gap.

While I am all up for a good text sesh, text alone can’t truly convey someone’s tone or humor or sexy vibes.

You’re in the business of love and dating, so if there’s anything you’d want to focus on, it’s creating experiences of love and sex and date-worthy vibes. And for some folks, voice notes really do make matching with other daters more intriguing and fun!

“I’ve recently matched with someone and we’ve sent a couple of voice notes back and forth and honestly, I’m so glad he did because I am going gaga over the way he sounds,” one Reddit user explains.

I know the feeling, girlie.

Another thing? Adding an audio feature (or even a fun video feature) to your app can certainly bridge the “vibe gap” between matching and meeting. For women and the LGBTQ+ community, that might mean feeling out their safety, and for anyone of any gender, it might just mean dipping their toes into real-life attraction before a first date.

I know at times when I’ve matched with men — which, for me, as a bisexual and polyamorous woman, is pretty rare — I find it really helpful to gauge my feelings of comfort, ease, attraction, and, of course, test out the actual chemistry before committing to an in-person rendezvous.

Plus, I just genuinely find VNs to be the most fun (and free feeling!).

I bet others feel the same. And that’s good not just for users, but for your apps’ retention, trust, and safety, too.

The human case: What users are saying

Of course, not everyone will feel this way.

“Personally, I hate VNs on apps & find it quite rude as they can be very long-winded, time-consuming and hard to reply to,” one Reddit user says, “A text is much easier, quicker and convenient. I’m all up for a phone call if we are getting on and don’t even mind a VN once you’ve actually met, but in the first stages of the convo it’s a massive no for me.”

But, generally speaking, I think most folks would agree that VNs on apps aren’t just a great way to connect, but they’re also a nice-to-have as a communication option, even if you don’t decide to use the feature.

Plus, they aren’t just a good vibe check, but for some daters, they make for an inclusive platform. On a recent Instagram story I put up, anonymous folks told me, “I’m autistic and find it easier to connect when I can hear someone’s voice first,” or “I’ve been catfished before, so I don’t meet anyone without a quick video call now.”

Apps like Hinge that have already integrated VN features are seeing true success. For example, Hinge’s CEO recently explained that users who send voice notes are 40% more likely to land a date compared with those using only text. Plus, their team has seen a 20% higher match rate for users who include voice clips in their profiles.

The industry case: What apps can gain

Trust, safety, retention, differentiation. Ah, music to your ears when it comes to being in the dating industry, right? Luckily, that can all come from integrating a voice note feature into your app, especially if you offer it in the right way.

For folks looking for more transparency in their dating lives, an audio or video feature can mean fewer catfish, scammers, or bad actors. Which, in turn, builds trust for your dating brand. Quick video calls or audio chats can also act like “pre-date vetting,” which can also make your in-app engagement higher.

Plus, features like voice prompts or story-style video keep users engaged longer and having fun while doing so. 

It makes me think of all those TikToks where daters share their best (and worst 😅) voice prompts for everyone to hear. Oftentimes, great dates come out of silly prompts or just hearing how sexy someone’s voice is. Who doesn’t love that?

Here’s my take: If you want to be a hot dating app and encourage hot folks to date each other, treat the audio and video features not as extras, but as your basis for getting matches to interact.

Because if dating is increasingly digital — and it will continue to be in 2025 — you should strive to make those digital moments feel more human, sexy, fun and memorable with each match you create. Why should daters settle for the swipe when they can hear the spark?