Opinion: Monogamy-First Dating Apps Face Market Share Risk

The app built for people who want to get off dating apps promises to help users find “the one” by searching through plenty of fish in the sea. Of course, many people are out there on the apps looking for a lasting one-and-only lover, but so many others are looking for something different. That something is somewhere in the land of non-monogamy.

It doesn’t take long to figure out (speaking first-hand from my experience as a polyamorous, bisexual woman who is often looking for alternatives) that monogamy-first dating apps are prioritized over anything else. But here’s a wild idea: Maybe being more inclusive as a dating product might make you grow as a company. Otherwise, you may be at risk of losing market share.

And hey, before you think it, no, this is not about “everyone becoming nonmonogamous.”

Instead, think of it as an opportunity to help users who’ve not been reached before and a way to get more folks on your app, as interest in alternative relationship styles rises. After all, 20% of Americans have tried out some form of consensual nonmonogamy.

The question really is should monogamy-first apps get ahead of the market game and be more inclusive to other relationship styles, or is something else needed? 

Let’s find out below.

What Users Actually Want

What do users actually want? I know you and your team ask this every day, all day, right? When it comes to what users truly want, I have my theories, but I still wanted to ask a professional for their opinion, too.

According to Eric Resnick, a dating profile writer and online dating coach who founded ProfileHelper, the only place where he has seen a noticeable increase in nonmonogamy has been among users under 35. This makes sense when 41% of millennials and Gen-Zers say they’re very interested in exploring it.

Side note: The youngest generation is also more likely to delay commitment. It’s called the “talking stage.” But they don’t reject it altogether.

The younger generation is leaning toward exploring nonmonogamy, but it doesn’t mean they aren’t looking for their special someone (or someones) in the end. There are many umbrellas of nonmonogamy — open relationships, polyamory, swinging, monogamish, and more — and all involve forming connections that can be romantic, beautiful and life-changing.

What the Heck Are “Exploratory Daters”?

“Users across age groups are increasingly open to exploring alternative relationship options while looking for a long-term partner,” says Resnick.

It’s called being an exploratory dater. And maybe it’s something to consider when thinking of what to add to your app.

This could certainly be an option to attract a different crowd of folks you’ve not seen come around your parts. It doesn’t mean being an ENM-exclusive app, and it’s certainly not being anti-monogamy, but an easy way for users to choose what is right for them (without losing your existing users). And maybe what’s right for most people is simply exploratory. 

Of course, if you still move forward with monogamy-first UX, you might not attract the exploratory daters of the bunch. So it’s important to have the right message. It makes me think of Feeld, which calls itself the open-minded app. It’s so open-minded that I’ve even seen monogamous folks there.

They don’t push monogamy-minded folks out, either. Sooooo… shouldn’t all the other apps follow suit and offer nonmonogamous options?

Why Monogamy-First Apps Are Right to Be Cautious

OK, OK. For monogamy-first apps out there, I get being nervous about making any switch.

According to Resnick, apps fear becoming just another swipe platform (and that fear is totally valid). Seventy-eight percent of dating app users say they are experiencing dating app burnout from endless swiping and no connections.

And it can be argued that when apps try to be everything to everyone, they often end up pleasing no one. But in my opinion, the key to dating apps in 2026 is not to change everything for one sector of daters, but rather, support relationship flexibility options throughout. Even for monogamous folks who want one person with whom to experience cuffing season, or who are not looking for serious right now, but maybe later.

Resnick says it’s tricky to do this right. Allowing users to select both monogamous and nonmonogamous options can certainly confuse users. Profiles that say “long-term, but open to short” like on Hinge or “still figuring it out” may be seen as someone not knowing what they’re after, even when they’re just being honest.

So, yeah, it can be a bit scary for those in the industry to take a leap in one direction or the other. My vote? Move forward with the most inclusive thing possible or poll your users for what would be helpful for them.

Who Actually Loses Market Share and Why

Let’s go back to the original question, shall we? Who actually loses market share and why? Well, the good news is, not all monogamy-first apps are in danger.

But the apps that ignore the exploratory daters, who offer zero flexibility in how someone dates and treat monogamy as the only option, might. People want to use products that actually help them where they are, not where you think they should be. 

Remember: It’s not about choosing between monogamy and nonmonogamy for your brand’s dating ethos, but rather, designing an app for how users actually date. And that might just be exploratory — or, ya’ know, nonmonogamy.