Key Takeaways

Remember the good ol’ days when all we had to worry about was fake profile photos and, as Neve Schulman would call it, matching with a catfish? Well, in 2025, with artificial intelligence more on the pulse than ever, daters (and the dating industry) have got something else to worry about: Chatfishing.

Like I said in a previous post on AI, 82% of Gen Z and 87% of millennial American daters already use AI in their dating process — and amazingly, up to 95% of them plan to continue doing so, according to Hily’s 2025 T.R.U.T.H. report, 

Unlike catfishing — which is pretending to be someone else entirely — chatfishing is even more deceptive. Simply put, it’s when real dating app users match with folks using their real profile, but then use AI to do all the talking for them. Hence, the chat in chatfishing.

The relatively new term, only made possible by the entrance of AI, is taking the dating world to a whole new scary place. No longer are folks using AI to write dating profiles, but some are using it to run the conversation. 

And before you think it, no, this is not just a bad user thing, either. It’s also a product, policy, and trust challenge. Just as your teams in the industry have had to confront catfishing, trying to tackle the ghosting norms, ridding your app of fake profiles, and the bot era, this, too, is a whole new challenge.

So the question becomes: Does AI etiquette still apply? If chatfishing becomes an even bigger problem, how can anyone possibly keep using the apps? I’d argue that, yes, having AI etiquette does still apply, but having etiquette is no longer enough. 

Platforms, like yours, need true guardrails, design choices, and standards that either help prevent chatfishing or at least make its use known.

Why Chatfishing Is Exploding (and Why Dating Apps Will Feel It First)

When AI started gaining ground, having it write that follow-up email sounded pretty intriguing to a lot of folks. Right? So what if it could make dating easier, too?

In my opinion, that’s one of the major driving forces behind chatfishing: putting in low effort and getting a high reward. After all, dating is hard. And if you’re matching is going nowhere, I could see how some folks might want to use AI to seem more compelling, interesting, witty and stand out from the sea of fish around them.

For the record, though, just because I can see why people do it, doesn’t mean I agree.

Another point? Having anxiety plays a huge role in why daters are choosing to go the catfish route. According to Pew Research, dating anxiety is super common. A recent study showed that nearly half of Americans are stressed about their love lives, and online dating, in particular, can be particularly stressful, with nearly 17% of users reporting frequent anxiety and 39.8% disclosing occasional anxiety from using dating apps.

It makes sense then that, if there is an anxious birdie using your app, they might choose to use AI when it comes to helping them in the chatting department.

But here’s the kicker: Using AI to create conversations may seem easier, but it’s removing the entirety of what dating is all about. Which is being human, of course. Plus, once the chat available on your app is no longer human, your brand’s whole ethos — which is a human, romantic connection — erodes completely.

Reality Check: AI Use in Dating Isn’t Going Away

If you think the trend of users flocking to AI is going away, it’s not.

In my opinion, AI is just inevitable. Just like overusing filters, swiping fatigue, and the innovation of read receipts once were. So it’s not about, “How do we stop AI?” but more like, “How do we guide, disclose, and contain it so connection stays human?” We, meaning you and your team.

What the Industry Must Do Next

Most of the industry already knows transparency with AI is needed, and now it’s time to make it official. So, now what? Well, I’ve got some ideas.

Build Transparency Into the UX

If you really want to build trust, and keep your users from wondering if they are being chatfished, the best way to do it is to build transparency into the UX.

For example, you could build in an optional badge or disclosure that says something like, AI-Assisted Messaging Used. Or use labels for AI-generated content within the chat. To prepare users from the beginning of their adventures on your platform, you could even offer onboarding screens that really explain AI transparency norms.

Just as users might ask their friends how to respond to a message, some might ask AI. So set the expectations so folks can really choose who they want to interact with or not.

Lastly, you should absolutely require disclosure for substantially AI-generated conversations. Because most likely, daters will choose to move on for those conversations, so they can find their human match.

Write a Clear AI Use Policy (like photo editing rules)

Another tip? Explicitly define what is an acceptable use of AI vs. a deceptive use of AI. If you can also update your brand’s trust and safety language to include catfishing scenarios, that will help prepare daters with the knowledge and guidelines they need.

Offer First-Party AI Tools 

Do you really want to get ahead of catfishing? Use AI to your benefit by adding in smart prompts — like tone-assist or coaching inside the app — to help folks who may not feel like they know what to say or how to respond. 

This won’t just boost your users’ confidence levels, but make them feel like you actually care about their experiences. It also keeps the entire dating experience human-led and can possibly differentiate your brand from others out there.

The First App to Solve This Wins Consumer Trust

We know that Gen Z and millennials — millennials and Generation X use dating apps the most, with millennials making up the largest user group — are here for safety, consent and trust. Especially in online dating.

So I’d argue that the first platforms to set AI ethics standards, especially around chatfishing, will be able to rebrand themselves as “the safe place for connection in an AI world. ”Imagine the angle: “Our app is AI-transparent — real people, real voices, real connection.”

If your team can look at chatfishing as a new era in the dating industry, you may just level up in the industry and bring back what it’s all about: real humans dating real humans. That’s a great love story, after all.