HUD App’s 2026 Pleasure Census Reveals New Insights for Sex and Dating Professionals

There were 2,183 respondents to HUD app’s and Girls Get Off’s 2026 Pleasure Census, and each gives us in the dating industry some much-needed insight into the minds of the people who seek our expertise. 

“Pleasure is one of the few subjects people still quietly lie about,” according to the study. Shame abounds when daters — especially women — try to articulate their sexual needs. Dating professionals have had no choice but to operate blind, making assumptions about what people want instead of informed decisions. 

When this happens, we all suffer. Now, the Pleasure Census — and DatingNews’ similar Pay Gap and Sex Life Survey from last month — finally gives us definitive information to work with. 

“Pleasure is one of the few subjects people still quietly lie about.” -HUD App and Girls Get Off

We now know, for example, that despite people’s hesitation to talk about pleasure, it’s often on their minds: Seventy-nine percent engage in solo pleasure on a weekly basis, and 80% are not having as much sex as they’d like. 

These stats matter, not only because they shed light on underinvestigated issues, but because they give matchmakers, coaches, sex therapists, and relationship experts a roadmap. This roadmap tells us exactly what today’s daters are prioritizing, and helps us determine how, exactly, we can help them. 

And what they really want is a community where they can be fully honest and authentic, HUD’s sex and dating expert, Katie Dissanayake, told DatingNews. “We’re here to build a safe, open, positive community that allows them to show up as they are and have the best shot at finding what they’re looking for, whatever that may be,” she explained.

More Than Half Can’t Help But “Perform” Solo Sex

Solo pleasure can be more enlightening than you’d think. It’s not just about a quick, one-off moment of pleasure, but about presence of mind: Who is participating in self-pleasure, what do they experience, and what, if anything, do they wish was different? 

We know one thing for sure: That “presence of mind” I mentioned can be both a blessing and a curse when it comes to solo pleasure. More than half of Gen Z respondents (54%) told the Pleasure Census that they find themselves “performing” during solo pleasure. 

In other words? Even when completely alone, we tend to judge ourselves based on what other people might think of us. It’s probably not surprising that women are more than twice as likely to worry about how they look and act during sexual encounters than men. 

“Products that were originally intended to connect us have made this generation feel quite isolated and judged,” Dissanayake explained. “The pressure to look good for the camera doesn’t stop, even when the camera’s turned off.”

It’s easy to blame porn for this, and you wouldn’t be wrong; 68% of 14-18 year old Americans have been exposed to some form of pornography, according to a 2020 study. When your first impressions of sex and sexuality are shaped by porn, it’s going to affect the way you expect pleasure to look and feel. 

Porn Isn’t Changing, But The Way We Consume It Is 

As the Pleasure Census illustrates, the way people view porn is changing, too. Or, more accurately: women are seemingly drawn to more artistic, imagination-driven depictions of sex than men. The power of the written word isn’t lost on women, who continuously prefer erotica, fan fiction, or books to videos. 

“Are we entering a post-porn era?” the Pleasure Census ponders. “With an industry built around the male gaze, half the audience is quietly building its own library instead.”

It seems to me that the real lesson here isn’t that porn is dying out, but that women are drawn to more conceptual versions of it. 

The slow burn is a popular trope for a reason. Pleasure isn’t just about physical connection, but about emotions, imagination, and fantasy. For dating and sex professionals, that’s an important reminder that there’s no one-size-fits-all solution to the pleasure gap. 

And for many people (61%, according to the Pleasure Census), sex education doesn’t begin in school, but in the bedroom.

Instead of learning vital concepts like consent and pleasure early on, we have to learn from experience, including unpleasant ones. 

But as sex and dating experts, you’re living, breathing resources for these daters. AI can be helpful, but it just can’t offer a healing, non-judgmental, and personalized touch the way a professional can. 

“It’s quite a paradox that we’ve built this world in which we’re constantly connected, but the connection can feel so superficial and even distant,” Dissanayake told us. Obviously, much of this superficiality can be traced back to the apps, to porn, to the abundance of screens in our lives — even those created by sex and dating experts.

Young Daters Aren’t Having Sex — But They Want To 

As healthy and helpful as solo pleasure can be, the census discovered that people aren’t prioritizing it. Thirty-two percent said that time simply gets in the way, and 21% of respondents blamed their environments for their lack of self-pleasure. 

It’s clear that sex and dating professionals can help people understand the importance of putting their sexual needs first. 

Or, if not first, then at least second or third; the point is, people seem to prefer ignoring their needs in favor of the status quo. Dating and sex professionals play a huge role not only in destigmatizing solo pleasure, but in reminding people that it’s okay to prioritize pleasure.

When asked what she wished she’d learned earlier about sex and pleasure, one respondent said, “That I was allowed to say no. And that I’m allowed to WANT pleasure.” 

Headlines will have you thinking that “Gen Z are all prudes” and “Young people are misguided loners,” but the reality is much more complicated. This testimonial confirms what most of us in this industry already know: The “sex recession” isn’t happening because people don’t have sexual desires. 

Eighty-eight percent of men and 76% of women told the Pleasure Census that they’re not having as much sex as they’d like.

Eighty-eight percent of men and 76% of women told the Pleasure Census that they’re not having as much sex as they’d like. The desire is there, but the physical act itself isn’t happening as much as it used to — and dating and sex professionals can help people get to the bottom of why this is. 

The professional’s role, in this case, is to explain a concept I mentioned early on: How shame, insidious and stealthy, can color our sex lives. 

Why Aren’t Women Expressing Their Desires?

Most notable is how shame affects our communication skills. With 73% of women faking orgasms as compared to 31% of men, it’s clear that many of us would rather maintain an unsatisfying but unchallenging status quo than address the raw emotions at play in our sex lives. 

This reminds me of something DatingNews uncovered in our Pay Gap and Sex Life survey. We found that over half of the 1,500 Americans surveyed (55%) have faked an orgasm. And although 53% of men are comfortable telling their partner what they want in bed, only 38% of women feel the same way. 

“People want more pleasure and more sex than what they’re currently having, but are very clearly struggling to talk about it and bring it to life without getting stuck in their own fear, insecurities, and shame,” Dissanayake told us. “We need to find ways to help them overcome that fear, making connections feel less scary and a lot more fun.”

“Our responsibility as the backdrop to users’ dating lives is to foster a judgment-free community where it’s safe and comfortable to communicate openly,” Dissanayake added.

The bright side? Communication is a sex and dating expert’s bread and butter. Teaching clients that their pleasure matters, and giving them the words they need to voice it, is what differentiates an amateur from an expert.