Key Takeaways
Good news for the brokenhearted! Dating.com is seeking a Chief Breakup Officer. Must have experience with either dumping or being dumped. So that’s basically all of us.
It sounds absurd at first read, but the job is no joke. This newly created paid position will help online daters navigate a part of the dating experience we don’t like to talk about. You know, when the butterflies die, and the relationship ends.
Dating.com is throwing out a budget of about $3,000 a month for a Chief Breakup Officer, whose main responsibilities will be writing respectful breakup messages that can help users put their confused and conflicted feelings into words.
I know it sounds like a 30 Rock bit, but Dating.com is taking this seriously. The goal is to end ghosting (ditching a former date prospect without explanation) and reinforce more genuine conversations on the platform.
The role just goes to show how frustrated modern daters are with ghosting. I like that a dating service is taking action to address this silent epidemic. And I like that they’re turning to humans to solve it!
As we sullenly watch jobs being outsourced to AI, it’s comforting to see Dating.com want to hire an actual flesh-and-blood person. Humanity is still good for something! Even if it is breaking hearts, I’ll take it.
Only a human being with life experience and empathy can understand the importance of a healthy breakup. It sets a tone for dating, and it could easily turn bitter. I would argue that breaking up is not all about pain and rejection — it’s about closure.
The Chief Breakup Officer is a Uniquely Human Role
I think we’ve all seen the absolute avalanche of AI tools, AI scripts, AI jobs, and AI services bombarding the online world at the moment. Many dating apps have raced to incorporate AI matchmaking into their system, and that’s all fine and dandy for ease and convenience.
But it’s not particularly impactful on a heart-to-heart level. When it comes to dating, it’s difficult (hopefully impossible??) to replace human intuition.
More dating experts are latching onto this idea that the answer to our current dating woes of swipe fatigue and ghosting isn’t yet another AI tool. It’s a person saying, “Hey, why don’t you say it like this?”
Content creator and educator Hayley Folk recently told DatingNews that “the real status symbol in the dating world isn’t how many matches you have, but whether you can communicate your needs without ghosting. It’s called emotional availability.”
I don’t need to tell you that this kind of emotional availability is a rare flower in the absolute desert of AI-told-me-to-write-this online messaging.
The Chief Breakup Officer will be tackling the rampant issue of ghosting. Dating.com told us that leaving a chat on read isn’t always an intentional act of malice. It could be more about avoiding accountability or not knowing what to say.
The irony is that we hate being ghosted, but who among us hasn’t been a ghost at some point? A 2023 survey found that 84% of Gen Z and millennial daters said they’ve been ghosted before.
“It is normal to not feel compatibility or connection with every person we meet,” said Marriage and Family Therapist Lindsay Huckaba. “Letting someone know this can give them clarity.”
Put simply: Your instinct to avoid discomfort only hurts you in the long run.
In a way, breakups can be a learning experience. It’s a chance to learn about yourself, your relationship style, and your emotional needs. That’s not something I’m eager to hand over to the robot overlords, so it’s nice to know Dating.com will have a human heart at the helm of heartbreak.
Dating.com Wants to Professionalize the Breakup
Dating.com is looking for someone with bone-deep empathy and emotional sensitivity. Not merely texting “So-and-so wants to dump you” or “It’s not you, it’s them.” It should look more like: “It’s time to end this relationship, and here’s why your partner enlisted my help.”
A Chief Breakup Officer doesn’t help someone dodge questions or cut things off with bland excuses. That would be irresponsible! Their job is more to find the truth and explain the “why” in a kind way.
This person will deliver the breakup news without sounding like a heartless robot. Instead of shoving your phone at a friend or AI, you can ask a professional to craft the words that will turn a cringey moment into an opportunity for growth.
Think of it like having a breakup coach on speed dial.
The whole point is for the Breakup Officer to make a smooth transition from text buddies to amicable strangers. Without relying on hollow tropes or AI-crafted messages.
Letting someone down easy is easier said than done. Who among us hasn’t botched a breakup or stomped on a heart accidentally when heading out the door? It takes a strong, emotionally attuned person to handle those goodbyes with grace.
It’s a useful skill in life. And now it’s an employable skill at Dating.com.
This could be an important paradigm shift for the dating industry (that’s what I’m keeping my fingers crossed for anyway). Empathy is a vital part of the dating experience, especially when it’s online.
This industry hinges on people’s love lives going somewhat reasonably well, and so it benefits the dating service, the user, and the entire ecosystem of love itself (too grandiose?) when breakups are mentionable and meaningful.
Empathy Is Now an Employable Skill
The job title of “Chief Breakup Officer” might evoke a laugh at first read. But it’s actually a useful and much-needed role when you think of the state of online dating and how easily we can leapfrog from one idle chat to another without so much as a “see you never.”
I know I’ve been guilty of it once or twice. And it’s not always malicious. Life gets busy! Some chats get lost in the fray, but it’s important to remember those are people waiting for answers. And the Chief Breakup Officer’s job is to help them get that clarity, once and for all.
This isn’t about encouraging breakups. No, instead, Dating.com hopes to change the way people are breaking up and make the experience more palatable and respectful. You know, so users don’t get so fed up that they swear off dating apps forever.
In that regard, it’s a really smart move. The team is looking out for the dignity of online daters, from first match to last goodbye.
The Chief Breakup Officer will be tasked with keeping daters honest and facilitating conversations about why a match isn’t suitable. They’ll be Cyrano whispering along the empathetic words that have been largely forgotten in modern dating.
And I wish that person the best of luck.
Applicants can send their breakup experiences, which will serve as a job cover letter, to Dating.com by August 31.
