Why American Couples Are Breaking Up with Joint Bank Accounts

Is talking about money a relationship taboo? Maybe it used to be, but a recent Bankrate survey shows that young couples are more open-minded about money — and about maintaining separate bank accounts — than ever before.

The 2024 Bankrate survey of over 2,200 adults found that 62% of couples keep at least some money separate from each other. Thirty-four percent of couples have a combination of joint and separate accounts, while 27% keep their money totally separate from each other.

The survey found that 88% of Gen Z couples keep some money to themselves. This is partly because many Gen Z couples are waiting longer to get married than older generations did. But it could also point to a growing trend among young couples to be financially prudent in uncertain economic times.

To older generations, separate finances may seem inefficient, or even look like a symptom of a distrusting relationship. But to some millennial and Gen Z couples, it’s simply a way to foster financial independence and security.

Older generations aren’t as quick to separate their bank accounts. Seventy percent of millennials said they keep some finances separate from their partners, while 59% of Gen Xers and 52% of baby boomers said they do the same.

Ted Rossman, senior industry analyst at Bankrate, told CNBC that young couples may keep their finances separate because they’re already used to handling their individual bank accounts online. Combining finances — an intimidating task for any couple, regardless of commitment level — may not appeal to young people who are protective over their hard earned cash.

Money Talks… Just Not Out Loud

Since more than half of each generation in the survey reported keeping some money separate from their partner, it’s possible that people have always preferred to keep some of their money to themselves, but simply never talked about it. After all, some traditionally minded people may not want to broadcast their financial situations — and admit who is really bringing home the bacon.

There are pros and cons to both sharing and separating bank accounts, but the Bankrate survey reveals that it’s the quality of communication surrounding finances that matters the most.

It’s possible that the conversation around finances should start earlier than expected, facilitated by dating app prompts or by relationship apps that encourage communication.

Financial Infidelity Is as Bad as It Sounds

Just because Gen Z couples are more open-minded about finances doesn’t mean they automatically communicate about finances in a healthy way. The Bankrate survey found that 67% of surveyed Gen Zers have kept financial secrets from their partners. This number decreases with age, with 54% of millennials and just 30% of baby boomers making the same mistake.

Keeping financial secrets from one’s spouse is also called financial infidelity. It’s a lesser-known betrayal than physical infidelity, but it can cause arguably more damage. An act of financial infidelity can be as big as a secret gambling problem and as seemingly-insignificant as a frivolous purchase hidden from one’s spouse. Both actions breach trust, and to make matters worse, they can leave the couple literally (and emotionally) bankrupt. It happens more often than you may think.

Bankrate found that 40% of its respondents, particularly those who live with their partners, have committed financial infidelity in the past… or are currently doing it. Forty-five percent of respondents said that keeping financial secrets is as damaging to a relationship as physical infidelity.

Obviously, context matters: People who add to a secret savings account so they no longer have to depend on an abusive partner is another story entirely. Keeping separate bank accounts is also more conducive to high-income couples; low-income couples typically fare better when they pool their resources, Bankrate noted.

Gen Z Couples Are Learning to Talk About Money

Experts suggest that an open line of communication about finances is the best way for couples to establish a financial system that works for them. Having relationship tools, such as a couple’s counselor or a communication app, can be useful to couples who need help articulating their thoughts on money management.

“Technology is like the third person in the relationship,” Wall Street Journal reporter Dalvin Brown said on an episode of the WSJ podcast Your Money Briefing. “[Couples are] using Excel spreadsheets to monitor how much they are each contributing to the household expenses. They’re using apps like Splitwise or Monarch, bill-managing platforms, and they’re also using these platforms to communicate with one another about money.” Brown pointed out how communicating about financial matters, specifically discrepancies, can be less heated via an app. “It’s easier to have the conversation virtually than it is to talk about money in real life, it seems.”

Rossman emphasized how the “Yours, mine, and ours” attitude has gained speed. “Being open with your partner about your finances doesn’t necessarily mean you need to combine all of your money,” Russman said. With more couples adopting a flexible attitude to finances, perhaps the “What’s yours, and what’s mine?” conversation will continue, too.

Bankrate pointed out the importance of distinguishing between separate accounts and secret accounts. Separate accounts can set couples up for financial independence, but secret accounts can set them up for betrayal. The main difference between the two is open and honest communication. Open communication about money can happen anywhere: in a counselor’s office, within a relationship help app, and even on a dating app.

For young Gen Z couples struggling to make ends meet in an increasingly expensive world, combining their funds into a joint account may sound like the most logical option. But it makes sense why some Gen Z couples prefer to keep their money where they can see it — in their own pockets.

Having separate bank accounts requires trust and communication, two essential qualities to any successful relationship. If Gen Z couples continue to maintain separate bank accounts, conversations about their shared and separate financial goals will become more important than ever. Couples may turn to counselors, relationship apps, and even life coaches to learn the best ways to communicate their thoughts and feelings about money.