‘Pen Pal’ Dating Problem Pushes Hinge to Launch ‘Date Ideas’ Feature

Some of us crave a slow-burn romance, but others? Well, there are scores of daters with more practical timelines in mind. 

Hinge just rolled out a new “Date Ideas” feature. Now, users can choose three first date ideas to feature on their profile, spurring conversation and even date-organizing with profile viewers.

According to Hinge, Date Ideas is a direct response to “pen pal” behavior on dating apps, where matches message without meeting in person.

As dating app fatigue grows, singles are increasingly looking for ways to skip the “pen pal” stage and move toward real-life dates more quickly. This way, matches know they’re both open to going on an IRL date sooner rather than later. 

Seventy-six percent of Hinge survey respondents said they’d allowed a conversation to fizzle out because they weren’t sure how to initiate date plans, or because they couldn’t tell if the other person would be interested in an IRL date. 

According to Hinge, Date Ideas is a direct response to “pen pal” behavior on dating apps.

Date Ideas is for those of us who tend to get lost in our own “what ifs?” before asking someone out.

And most importantly, it’s for the 79% of Hinge users who want to get straight to planning an IRL date after matching with someone, no messaging or flirty texts required. 

Hinge Proves Profiles are a Key Area for Innovation

Hinge’s Date Ideas feature is designed to help users express their intentions early in the matchmaking process, which is why it’s introduced during profile creation. That way, your intentionality is one of the first things a match learns about you. 

The feature lets you choose three date ideas from a myriad, including karaoke, drinks, live music, coffee, and thrifting (among many others), ensuring there’s truly something for everyone. You can replace one of the preset options with your own unique idea, too. 

This eliminates the type of guesswork that often leaves daters feeling insecure and hesitant: Yes, this person is open to an IRL date with you; all you have to do is choose which activity you prefer and which day/time works best for you from a dropdown menu located right there on the match’s profile. 

The profile creation process is fertile ground for both innovation and growth.

Hinge makes it clear that Date Ideas is not a scheduling tool, but a jumping off point for daters. By engaging with the tool, both daters can show their interest and then discuss the details in a chat, getting to know each other better in the process. 

This elevates profile creation from simply showcasing personality to signaling a genuine intent to move beyond the app. It’s yet another sign that the profile creation process is fertile ground for both innovation and growth. 

Case in point: Hinge found that Date Ideas led to more matches and ultimately more dates overall. More than half of the Hinge daters who used the tool (54%) said that it made them feel more comfortable to ask someone out.

‘Intentional Dating’ is the Hot New Trend 

The hidden key word here is “intention.” One scroll through TikTok is all you need to see it’s a hot topic. “How to actually date – not just talk about it,” influencer kate.girlfriend captioned a TikTok post from last year, which currently has nearly 50k likes (she says “starting with intention … saves time and reduces mixed signals).”  

The hashtag #intentionaldating has been used thousands of times on Instagram, too. And chances are, you’ve seen it peppered into people’s online dating profiles, including on Hinge. “Message me if you know what you want.” “Let’s get a drink, my treat.” “I’m here for something real — are you?” 

Not everyone knows the answer to that question, which is why Hinge created Date Ideas. The new feature doesn’t only help singles figure out what they want, but makes it easier for people to signal their intentions early on. No more dreaded “pen pal” stage, when you and your match end up in a boring cycle of intention-less “How’s it going?” texts. 

To modern daters, intentionality isn’t just attractive — it’s a meaningful symbol of genuine interest.

Cutting down the messaging phase may seem like a great way to end up on an IRL date with someone you have no chemistry with, but Hinge posits that it actually adds value to the overall app experience by getting people to meet IRL faster and on their own terms. 

It’s ironic: In the age of dating app fatigue, apps that quickly facilitate IRL connections, namely those with clear intentions, may have a better chance of experiencing real engagement and growth than those that slow things down. 

A little friction isn’t a bad thing; I’m reminded of Sonder, the start-up dating app that purposefully introduces friction into the profile creation process. But when daters want fast results, a profile innovation like Date Ideas can go a long way. 

After all, to modern daters, intentionality isn’t just attractive — it’s a meaningful symbol of genuine interest.