Opinion: Swiping Was Revolutionary — Now It’s Holding Us Back

What’s better than an amazing three-course dinner, pleasure-inspired cocktails, and honest, real conversations around dating and the future of relationships? Well, the only thing I can think of is a first date like that! But a night learning about a dating app will have to do. 

A few weeks ago, I attended Pure’s first house party in New York City — where the dating app hosted a campaign aimed at showing that finding pleasure is, indeed, a powerful act.

The thing that stood out to me most? They don’t offer a swipe feature.

“While many dating apps built their experience on swiping, which was innovative in its time, it has led to matches being made based on a split-second glance at photos,” Sarah Bertrand, Pure’s global PR and Communications Manager, told me.The conversation got me thinking: While non-swipe dating apps may seem niche for now, is it actually a design choice that will become more common? Could ditching the swipe model not only teach the dating industry lessons about user well-being, design, and authentic connection, but also make app users more fulfilled?

I think yes.

Swipe Fatigue is Real

So many apps follow the swipe. Think of the big giants of the dating game: Tinder, Bumble and Hinge. But smaller apps like Hookoo, Beyond and others do it, too.

But now, they’re not doing themselves any favors, really.

And sure, swiping was once a revolutionary thing. I remember being in college, and using Tinder for the first time, and feeling blown away by the potential of meeting someone just like that. Left for no, right for yes. Soon, I’d be on a date or hooking up or meeting a new lover. It was exciting for a while. But now, in 2025, I and lots of other users are way less than enthusiastic about the swipe.

According to a recent Forbes Health Survey, 78% of dating app users report having dating app burnout. Not only are they tired of no matches or bad first dates, but they’re really tired of the monotony of swiping. It’s like an endless, mindless routine that just goes and goes and goes.

“Swipe culture makes dating feel like a slot machine: quick, addictive, and often shallow,” said Lorene Cowan, the founder of dating app Yoke. 

When it comes down to it, many users want to escape the burnout of dating and get back to the true fun of dating! But because a meet-cute isn’t always in the cards, they still want the ease of apps, without the bad, icky feelings of swiping.

The Rise of Non-Swipe Models

And we’re (luckily) starting to see more non-swipe models come up. 

While some apps are focused on pleasure and intimacy, other apps, like Yoke, are leaning into the movement of slow dating.

“Many people come to the app already tired of swiping, but once they use the platform, the design itself teaches them to slow down and reframe dating as a process of discovery, not instant gratification,” Cowan said.

The commonality, though, is that the swipe isn’t the big draw in. It’s not there at all. In my opinion, it’s an exciting (and important) time for the dating industry to not only find swipe alternatives, but use the trends — like AI-matching, slow dating, or an IRL events focus — to make a big shift that users will notice.

How Non-Swipe Changes the Experience

With a change of pace, users are more likely to explore profiles and even engage in real conversation (imagine that). With a non-swipe experience, dating can feel less about rapid-fire decision-making and more about connecting with others, as one would IRL.

The non-swipe can also help with the anxiety and burnout that folks are experiencing, which is a very real thing. One study found that 24.2% of swipe-based dating app users met the criteria for anxiety. Another survey revealed that nearly 17% of users frequently experience stress and anxiety from dating apps, with another close to 30%experiencing it occasionally. 

I think that if more apps or dating sites were designed for a calm and curious dating journey, it could lead to healthier online dating behaviors, too.

“Without swiping, the experience feels less like a game and more like a meaningful connection process,” Cowan said. “People aren’t rushing to the next profile; they’re engaging with real introductions and context. The pace is calmer, which reduces burnout and frustration.”

The Challenge of Designing for Depth

And sure, it’s easy to say let’s get rid of swiping. But that does come with its own challenges. For example, appealing to a society that is constantly going, going, going. Often, slower models don’t create the same dopamine loop as swiping.

“Quick matching can create addictive usage patterns,” Bertrand noted.

The biggest challenge is probably just retraining user expectations. People (even me) are used to the instant feedback from swiping, so it’s up to the dating industry as a whole to not only help them adjust to a more meaningful, paced experience, but also understand why it’s important. 

That means education, design nudges, and building a community that values quality interactions.

That also means looking at evaluating metrics differently, too, like looking closely at conversation and connection progression rather than match numbers. Other dating apps have focused less on a user’s screen time and more on whether their matches led to IRL dating.

But, in time, users will still come. The industry faces a choice — either in chasing engagement metrics or building sustainable platforms centered on well-being.

From Niche to Future?

“At the moment, we’re carving out a niche,” Bertrand tells Dating News. “But it may not remain a ‘niche’ for long.”

In my opinion, it really shouldn’t be. The future of dating apps belongs to brands that aren’t just looking for users to swipe and swipe, but who are helping prioritize a human-centered design that feels good to use. Goodbye, dating anxiety and burnout. 

Non-swipe platforms demonstrate that you can harness engaged user bases without relying on psychological manipulation or frustration-based monetization, Bertrand adds.

Isn’t that how it should be anyway? The dating industry can (and must) learn from these non-swipe early adopters.